Moi: What did you learn at school today?
A: That there is no such thing as suction.
Moi: Oh really? Then what does the vacuum cleaner do?
A: It doesn't suck. It blows.
Moi: Really! Then if I ever want to sell it I may have trouble writing the ad. "Vacuum cleaner for sale. Blows great."
A: No! I mean that it blows the air around and the dirt is blown up into it.
Moi: So it creates a vacuum, and you don't want to call it suction?
A: There is NO suction!
Moi: I'm just trying to understand this... are you saying that the air goes outside the machine and blows the dirt up?
A: NO! OH FORGET IT! YOU DON'T KNOW!
Moi: I'm just saying... you may have a hard time blowing your milkshake up the straw... actually, I'd really like to see that...
A: OH STOP IT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN TOLD YOU!
Moi: Well hang on, who told you this anyway?
A: My PHYSICS TEACHER!
Moi: Oh, what's his name?
A: Doctor Blankety Blank.
Moi: Oh, so he's a Doctor? A Doctor of what?
Moi: I see.... so a Psychologist told you there is no suction? How would he know?
A: YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!
Moi: I'm just trying to understand... COME BACK HERE!
Moi: I think we can agree on this. You say it blows and I say it displaces air to create a vacuum. Vacuums do exist even if you say suction doesn't.
A: NO IT DOESN'T and I... DON'T WANT...TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!! (Flounces out of the room knocking crumbs off the table in the process.)
Moi: YOUNG LADY! You come back here and grab that vacuum cleaner and BLOW THAT MESS OFF THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW!
All those in favour of homeschooling say AYE!