There is something I see in this country that you will never, ever, ever see in a maori home (because our mamas done told us NO). In New Zealand it is more than a faux pas, more than bad manners and more than lack of hygiene. It is tapu. Sacred and forbidden.
Please, please, please! never SIT YOUR BUMS... on... TABLES! There you have it. This is the worst thing you could do in my presence. Literally. You could moonwalk past buck naked and spit in my face and it wouldn't have the same effect as if you sat on my table, or counter. I kid you not. Maoris treat their food as a sacred gift from God and do not allow the food preparation areas to be polluted. If the surface of a 'thing' could conceivably at any time in it's life support food - we don't sit on it.
There have been a few times when I have witnessed this happening and let me tell you what happens to me... I start feeling vomitous... I have to leave the room or cover my face and try to convince my eyes that they did not see what they thought they saw. Ask MM. He's the one who has to explain my sudden disappearance at social events while I'm dry heaving outside.
If it happens at MY house, the offender will be very sorry. (Last seen here? No officer, I don't even know anyone by that name...")
And you thought you knew me.