Post Election Laugh

Thursday, November 06, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
It's nice to have a break from campaigning. I am relieved that I no longer have to look for the brightest lit carpark to avoid vandalism from anyone offended by the stickers all over our car. The last couple of days I had taken to wearing "Yes on 8" stickers on my back and on my bag in defiance. I must have been quite the spectacle at supermarkets and restaurants. Nobody said anything to me but I got some funny looks. My daughter said, "I'm not coming if you go out like that."

I found some funny statements from court transcripts. It is nice to laugh a bit after the last few tense days...

Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
Witness: "After the accident?"
Lawyer: "Before the accident."
Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."

Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."

Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

Click here if you want to read more.

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