My dentist likes to make little jokes. He thinks it puts people at their ease. He leaned me back in the chair so far my feet were higher than my head. He said, "Don't worry, you won't slide off. I've only lost two patients that way."
Har, har. My sense of humour is excellent when I'm in intense pain.
So the dentist told me I can't eat certain meats or chewy foods "like bread". What?? Meat and bread?! That's only everything I eat! And there goes Thanksgiving dinner!
I had to ring my cousin and tell him, "So this is the menu for Thanksgiving. Ground beef, mashed potato, creamed spinach, puréed carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce and hot chocolate."
"Mmm, you make it sound so good." he said.
OK, no, I am not that mean. I will cook REAL food for EVERYONE ELSE while I SUCK my Thanksgiving meal THROUGH A STRAW.
Don't worry about me... I will be fine with my turkey shake.