Mobile Desperation

Saturday, January 10, 2009 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 9 Comments »
I am sure MM does not want me to blog about this but he has not yet realised something that the kids figured out months ago. That I will freely blog every humiliating event I hear about. I don't give warnings and I don't ask permission... that's what makes it fun.

MM can tell you exactly how many restrooms are closed between work and home during the hours of 5 and 7pm. He can tell you which restrooms have locks and no keys, which ones have surly non-English speaking attendants and which ones are perpetually occupied. He can also predict to a nano second when and where the traffic will slow to a stop, usually at the most torturous and uncomfortable time of bursting desperation.

As is often the case, I had the perfect solution for his daily predicament.

"I have one word for you honey, "Bedpan"."

I was feeling quite proud of myself for solving his problem instantly. I was not prepared for the "are you bonkers?" stare.
"Why are you looking at me like that? It's a perfect solution! Tailor-made for you. It obviously wouldn't work for me. You wait. This time tomorrow you will be WISHING you had a bedpan next to you in the car."

No comment.

Walking away.

"Well, if you get blood poisoning or whatever you get when your BLADDER EXPLODES, don't CALL ME!"

Some people just won't be helped.

9 brilliant observations:

Kristina P. said...

I can't believe he just dismissed this idea outright! Wow. Such high expectations.

Machen family said...

I too will blog about everything and anything, and I think you are absolutely right. I'm sure your husband will see the light one day.

Cheryl said...

You are very helpful!

kansasdunaways said...

Thank you for commenting on my Good Deeds blog. That is how I found you. You are very funny. I too love Jodi Picoult and many of the other books you mention, plus 80's music! It's fun to meet new friends through blogging.

Abby said...

I don't see what's so wrong with a bedpan. I mean, it makes sense to me. What, are other people going to see or something? Sheesh. Some people just can't appreciate good advice.

Thanks for stopping by the blog and commenting! I love stranger comments. They make me so very happy. And also thank you for linking to me on your sidebar! Even though I have to wonder if I'm up there as one of the blogs you've instructed others to scorn and deride! Because that wouldn't surprise me!

Oh, and Fawlty Towers? I own the entire series. Yes, all two episodes. I mean 12.

Deb said...

Stubborn, stubborn man. He'll see the light one day...

Annie Valentine said...

My sentiments exactly. This is a perfect example of why we are friends. Our men are so inhibited.

honeypiehorse said...

What about Kegel excercises? Do men even have Kegels?

Loralee and the gang... said...

My husband always has to rush right home after we go out to all seems to just rush right though him. And he won't use a public restroom unless it's a DIRE emergency (or if we are on a long road trip, thank heavens). Makes dinner AND a movie nearly impossible!