One time I helped my mate T look for a new flat apartment. I said I would go with her 'cos she was up the duff pregnant and feeling a bit knackered tired. She likes to go in my car 'cos it's flash nice and grunty powerful while her ute pick-up is puckeroo not working ('cos she pranged crashed it) and the boot trunk is chocka full with fizzy soda cans.
T's a real hard case funny person and we always crack each other up. We sent our kids to get their togs swimsuits and jandals flip flops on and go down the beach. They were like, "Can we have some pingers money to take to the dairy corner store? We're like, "What are ya?" "No way!" and they're like, "But, it's kai food time!" and we're like, "Tough bikkies!" "Too bad!" So, they whinged whined their heads off.
Finally, T gives in and hands them some lollies candy and a chilly bin igloo full of L&P soda like 7-Up and some takeaways fast food and they're like, "Sweet as!" "Awesome!" So we left them there and were on our way.
It took ages (and T yacked talked the whole way) but we finally sussed out organised a flat. It was in the wops boonies but it was nice. Then we went to pick up the kids but one of them had packed a sad hissy fit and took off. So we raced over the judder-bars speed bumps looking for him. We spotted him up by the public loos restrooms. He was chucking stones at someone's chooks hens and making them run onto the tar seal road. I knew T was gonna have his guts for garters! tear him limb from limb, well not literally... you know what I mean
Then T spotted her ex-husband with his girlfriend and wanted to take a jack nuhi good look. She jumped out of the car while I was halfway up the roundabout. "Crikey dick! "Gee willikers!"
Can ya wait 'til I stop the car before you leap out?" By the time I parked the car, she was having a right old barney argument with L while the kids were gawking staring from the car. I pulled her away from him, then I threw her in the car and went flat stick really fast back to town.
T laughed as she pulled out heaps of cash. "L's a prat dickhead, but we're home 'n' hosed fine 'cos I flogged stole his wallet and he's shouting paying for lunch today!" I busted a gut laughing! It's been yonks a really long time since I've had that much fun!
**If you're wondering, this is ALL TRUE.
T is madder than a meat axe.