C: Mum, do we have any bricks?
C: Do we have any BRICKS?
Moi: Well, I think so. Why?
C: Because A is going to eat them.
She said she'd rather eat bricks than listen to my music. So, I just need to know if we have any, because A has to eat some. And I'm going to make sure she does it. You better get your camera out.
A: (Laughing) OK, where are the bricks?
C: Out there... (shoves her sister out the back door and locks it)
A: (Knock, knock)
C: She can stay out there until she eats ONE brick.
A: (Banging on the door) This is NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!
C: When dad gets home we'll have to listen to his music. Then she'll have to eat FOUR bricks.
Moi: Enough, let her in.
C: FINE! (Flounces to the door and opens it)
A: (Bursts into the room) Mum, I got the door open with this screwdriver!
C: No you didn't. I just UNLOCKED IT!
A: No.... I did it myself! I broke into the house!
C: OK, let me see... (walks out....walks back in) Mum, she took the whole doorknob off! Dad is so gonna kill her!
A: (Walks in) Mum, you guys need to get a new doorknob. This one is rubbish.
Moi: YOU GET YOUR BUM OUT THERE AND PUT THE DOOR HANDLE BACK ON RIGHT NOW!
C: And you still have to EAT that BRICK!
A: (Stomps out)
(Muffled sounds from outside.) Bang, bang. "Crap!"
** This is not a fabricated flight of fancy. I wrote it as it was actually taking place, right in front of me. You think I could make this stuff up?