Do You Like to Read?

Thursday, December 11, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I am thinking of participating in this reading challenge. I already belong to a book club that I struggle to keep up with (because I read so many books at the same time...) but I think I could, maybe, perhaps do this one. It's a 12 month challenge so there is plenty of time. (Famous last words.)


This is a challenge that anyone can join, no matter what books they like to read. You should be able to find books from any genre. Click here to sign up (or you can participate anonymously, but you won't be eligible for prizes).

*Dates: January 1, 2009 through December 31, 2009*

The Challenge- Choose one book from each of the following categories:

1. A book with a "profession" in its title. Examples might include: The Book Thief, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Historian.

2. A book with a "time of day" in its title. Examples might include: Twilight, Four Past Midnight, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.

3. A book with a "relative" in its title. Examples might include: Eight Cousins, My Father's Dragon, The Daughter of Time.

4. A book with a "body part" in its title. Examples might include: The Bluest Eye, Bag of Bones, The Heart of Darkness.

5. A book with a "building" in its title. Examples might include: Uncle Tom's Cabin, Little House on the Prairie, The Looming Tower.

6. A book with a "medical condition" in its title. Examples might include: Insomnia, Coma, The Plague.

Please don't use the same book for more than one category.

There will be some small prizes scattered throughout. No set schedule, so just be sure to check in once a while. There will also be a prize awarded at the conclusion to one participant who completes the challenge.

Here are my book choices:

Profession: Lady's Maid by Margaret Forster
Time of day: Joy in the Morning by P.G. Wodehouse
Relative: Lirael: Daughter of the Clayr by Garth Nix
Body part: The Ear, The Eye and the Arm by Nancy Farmer
Building: Bleak House by Charles Dickens
Medical condition: Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella


OK, Now I'm Scared

Thursday, December 11, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Food Riots, Tax Rebellions By 2012...

Trend forecaster, renowned for being accurate in the past, says the man who predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union is now forecasting revolution in America, food riots and tax rebellions - all within four years, while cautioning that putting food on the table will be a more pressing concern than buying Christmas gifts by 2012.

Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute, is renowned for his accuracy in predicting future world and economic events, which will send a chill down your spine considering what he told Fox News this week.

Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts."We're going to see the end of the retail Christmas....we're going to see a fundamental shift take place....putting food on the table is going to be more important that putting gifts under the Christmas tree," said Celente, adding that the situation would be "worse than the great depression".

"America's going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for," said Celente, noting that people's refusal to acknowledge that America was even in a recession highlights how big a problem denial is in being ready for the true scale of the crisis. Celente, who successfully predicted the 1997 Asian Currency Crisis, the subprime mortgage collapse and the massive devaluation of the U.S. dollar, told UPI in November last year that the following year would be known as "The Panic of 2008," adding that "giants (would) tumble to their deaths," which is exactly what we have witnessed with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and others.

He also said that the dollar would eventually be devalued by as much as 90 per cent. The consequence of what we have seen unfold this year would lead to a lowering in living standards, Celente predicted a year ago, which is also being borne out by plummeting retail sales figures.

The prospect of revolution was a concept echoed by a British Ministry of Defence report last year, which predicted that within 30 years, the growing gap between the super rich and the middle class, along with an urban underclass threatening social order would mean, "The world's middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest," and that, "The middle classes could become a revolutionary class."

In a separate recent interview, Celente went further on the subject of revolution in America."There will be a revolution in this country," he said. "It's not going to come yet, but it's going to come down the line and we're going to see a third party and this was the catalyst for it: the takeover of Washington, D. C., in broad daylight by Wall Street in this bloodless coup. And it will happen as conditions continue to worsen."

"The first thing to do is organize with tax revolts. That's going to be the big one because people can't afford to pay more school tax, property tax, any kind of tax. You're going to start seeing those kinds of protests start to develop."

"It's going to be very bleak. Very sad. And there is going to be a lot of homeless, the likes of which we have never seen before. Tent cities are already sprouting up around the country and we're going to see many more."

"We're going to start seeing huge areas of vacant real estate and squatters living in them as well. It's going to be a picture the likes of which Americans are not going to be used to. It's going to come as a shock and with it, there's going to be a lot of crime. And the crime is going to be a lot worse than it was before because in the last 1929 Depression, people's minds weren't wrecked on all these modern drugs – over-the-counter drugs, or crystal meth or whatever it might be. So, you have a huge underclass of very desperate people with their minds chemically blown beyond anybody's comprehension."

Removed, Revoked, Rescinded

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 Posted In , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Applaud applaud, I never liked these anyway.

Warning: Contains Graphic Descriptions of Grossness

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
I am having a horrible time because within the last 48 hours, one by one, every member of my family succumbed to a stomach virus. I am the only one who isn't green right now. I am lucky that I had the bug last week when everyone ignored me ("I'm sick I tell you, SICK!") and now I get to clean up their vomit.

Who knew such little people could bring up so much stuff? I watched M leap across the room and regurgitate about a gallon of yellow, brown and red chunky spew into his sister's sick bowl. I was like... "Wow, you ate that? What was that?"

So far I've had two nights of slumber interruptus and I am high on sleep deprivation. I hope to get some rest before my brain function is permanently impaired. Or, it happened already and I'm too impaired to notice.

It's a Losing Battle

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
When, if ever, do I get to stop being a cop? I would really love to have a normal conversation without having to interrupt myself constantly, to prevent World War 3 in my house! Have you ever had a conversation like this?

Moi to MM: "Do you think...
STOP HITTING HIM!...
...that we could do something different for...
DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU TO STOP?!...
...Christmas dinner? I thought that we could...
WHY ARE YOU STILL TOUCHING HIM?...
...maybe have meatloaf again because...
ARE YOUR EARS PAINTED ON?...
...I didn't get much...
WHO THREW THAT?...
...of the Thanksgiving meatloaf.
So, I was hoping that...
PUT THAT DOWN!..
...we could...
PICK THAT UP!...
...have a non-traditional meal...
TAKE THAT OUT OF YOUR NOSE!...
...with all the traditional trimmings, and make it...
GET TO YOUR ROOM!...
...more of a Christmassy meatloaf?
Because I'm sure the kids...
DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!...
...won't care what they eat as long as...
GIVE ME THAT KNIFE!...
...there's ice cream afterward."

Music To My Ears

Monday, December 08, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Update on the cellphone billing debacle. Our cellphone carrier advised us today that they will credit $2500.00 worth of illegal calls billed to us. Somebody stole our phone number and called all over Mexico and Honduras last month. And our bill went up $700 since last week. The phone company told us that this is happening everywhere and that the hardest hit places are New York, Florida and Mexico. If you take a cellphone to these areas, find out what security measures, if any, you can take.

Islamic Mormon?

Monday, December 08, 2008 Posted In , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
MM asked me to help him sub in Sunday School today. Yeah, sure! What age group?
Fourteen.
Uh oh.
I don't know about you but I'm alternately dry and stupid when it comes to the youth. You'd think having my own thirteen year old would provide some preparation. Nope. Dry and stupid. And fasting makes me drier... and stupider.

So I'm sitting there with MM and we are both having a hard time of it. "Bueller?... Anyone?... Anyone?" I felt like that guy.

MM gave a lesson about the Brother of Jared. It was pretty good though he had only three minutes notice and no lesson manual. I offered a few comments, nothing exciting, not worth talking about really. At the end of the lesson, MM asked each kid what they had learned. They gave some pretty astute answers considering they sat rigor mortis through most of it.
The last kid said, "I learned from this lesson that the real name of the Brother of Jared is um... Mohammed."

I'm not sure what this says about our teaching skills. Probably something dry... or stupid.

First Presidency Christmas Devotional

Sunday, December 07, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I listened carefully to the First Presidency talks tonight. I felt the spirit of everything they said. If you were disappointed that you missed the Devotional, here is some of Pres. Uchtdorf's talk (paraphrased in parts because I couldn't write it down quickly enough):

"...Christmas bustle can detract from the simple dignity of the season. The most memorable Christmases are usually those that are most modest. Think of the simple yet dignified way our Heavenly Father chose to honour the birth of His own child! Angels appeared not to the rich but to lowly shepherds. The Saviour was born not in a mansion but in a manger. Wrapped not in silk but in swaddling clothes.

The simplicity of that first Christmas foreshadowed the life of the Saviour. His life was a life of modest nobility. Though he was a King, He cared neither for the honours nor for the riches of men. His life was one of simple yet profound dignity. Jesus set for us the pattern for giving. He brings compassion and comfort. He brings love and healing. He offers hope, forgiveness and redemption. If the Saviour were among us today we would find Him where He always was; ministering to the meek, the lowly and the poor in spirit..."

The message from the First Presidency was clear. Share what you have and show your love, extend a helping hand, a loving heart and a willing spirit. Follow the example set by the Saviour. We should not forfeit our opportunity to do what we can for others. May we follow Him, serve Him, honour Him, and receive in our lives, His gifts to us.

Perambulating in Boots of Ascension Whilst Trumpeting Melodiously

Sunday, December 07, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I love a good play on words and I especially love words that have been messed up unintentionally. For instance, I came across this notice from an Austrian Ski hotel: "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension." When was the last time you perambulated during the hours of repose? I love it!

How about this one from a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable." Good call, I find myself unbearable at the best of times.

Have you ever read the book, "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by LDS author Lynne Truss? Me neither. Who would have thought a book about punctuation would ever make it to #1 on the Bestseller list? Lynne said the title of the book came from a misplaced comma in a sentence about a panda who eats shoots and leaves (of the bamboo tree). Geddit? Putting a comma in there changes the meaning of the sentence ENTIRELY. That's the sort of stuff I find funny and I see it all the time even in my own town.

So when you see me chortling away for no apparent reason, you will know that I have just read something funny like this traffic sign, "Slow Children Crossing". Like Lynne said, "I wonder if the slow children crossing grow up to be "Slow Men At Work?"

All I Want For Christmas...

Saturday, December 06, 2008 Posted In , Edit This 3 Comments »
... is a twenty foot high Christmas tree made out of chocolate. If you really loved me, you'd buy it.

I'm A Food Fanatic... Oops, I Mean Food 'Storage' Fanatic

Friday, December 05, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
This year I have been making more of an effort to obtain food storage and become more prepared for emergencies. I have even been to the cannery and bought a million cans of wheat! I acquired some food storage cook books and bought a grain mill. I even have some of that freeze-dried powdered muck and 20 gallons of honey. All I need now is an idiot who will eat this stuff because my kids sure won't!

But I am still so excited about emergency preparedness that you could almost call me an Everyday Food Storage FANATIC. Actually, no, that sentence was a shameless plug for the blog of the same name, and a plea to be entered into their contest. I love winning things, don't you?

Which isn't to say I am not a food storage fanatic... just maybe not an everyday one. Perhaps I'm an every-other-month fanatic, which hardly qualifies me for the fanatic title so just forget I mentioned it. The important thing is that I am in the competition and I love winning things, don't you?

So anyway, I'm off to the shop to buy 10 cans of dehydrated 'whatever is on special'. I just saw a sale for pork flavoured TVP. Mmmm, sounds delish!

The Meaning of Christmas

Friday, December 05, 2008 Posted In Edit This 1 Comment »
Needs no introduction really...



Two Chips Off The Old Block

Thursday, December 04, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
C walked in the door from school and announced that she had scored a "Twilight" poster for her sister. She said that her friend had bought the poster this morning for $14.95 (what a rip!) but was sick of it by lunchtime and offered it to C.
I didn't want to dampen her gift-giving enthusiasm but there are virtually no circumstances where I would allow Twilight paraphernalia to be displayed in my house!

The poster features white-faced Edward and klutzy Bella solemnly looking out into space. Not even a hint of a smile. I guess life is just way too serious for them.

It seems sacrilegious to allow an actor who first played the part of "Cedric Diggory" in the 'not to be matched' Harry Potter series, to also play the part of the personality-absent Edward in the travesty that is Twilight. Go figure.
I was very cautious about telling C and A that the poster NEEDS TO GO.
Moi: "Umm, C? That was neat that you got that for A but umm..."
C: "I know, I know... you don't like it."
A: "I hate it anyway. Edward is ugly."
Moi: (gleefully) "Sooo, what are you going to do with it?"
A: "I'm giving it away."

Anybody want a much hated and slightly stomped on Twilight poster like this one?



For All The Emmas I Know

Thursday, December 04, 2008 Posted In Edit This 3 Comments »
I haven't seen the movie "Emma Smith: My Story" but I liked this short clip and I really like the song...






Dream Home Dreams

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I have had my eye on this mansion currently for sale up in De Luz. I only need a cool $2,995,000.00 for this one... a BARGAIN.
It should appeal to MM as there is a library there already, so he won't have to build one for me. That's worth a million to him right there!
My sister can send me her maid (yeah, she's rich) so I can keep this monstrosity clean and I'll have to buy all new furniture because my scratched up, cat peed couches may not look as good as they do right now.

And check out all the garages - one for each bicycle!









Give Books For Christmas!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
I just bought twelve books for $23. I think that's pretty good considering one or two of them were brand new. I love historical fiction so I got some from that genre. If you want to borrow one, you are welcome. Here's the list...

The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory - This author can be a bit racy but I can't abide eroticism in any form so it will meet with a gruesome end if it goes in that direction.

The Hidden Diary of Marie Antoinette by Carolly Erickson - Not great reviews. Bummer.

An Infamous Army... A Novel of Love, War, Wellington and Waterloo by Georgette Heyer - I don't usually go for war stories but amazon had good reviews so it might slip under the radar.

The Princes of Ireland... The Dublin Saga by Edward Rutherford - Average reviews and I may have bitten off more than I can chew here. It's pretty hefty.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - Someone recommended this to me, so I only read the description on the cover after I got home: "Gritty, sensual and charged with blah, blah..." There's the ugly "S" word. Pity I didn't read that before I bought it.

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Emmuska Orczy - The name of the author alone is enough to make me gulp but it's a classic so I'll give it a go.

Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell - I don't know why I bought this, I could hardly sit through the three hour movie so what makes me think I can read 831 pages instead?

MM got three Chicken Soup For The (take your pick) Soul books which, in my opinion, are only good for bathroom reading.

Which leaves us with another husband's choice: The Darwin Awards, Evolution in Action by Wendy Northcutt. Commemorating those individuals who ensure the long-term survival of our species by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion. - I've already read a bit of this and true to it's title, it contains stories about idiots who accidentally commit suicide in klutzy and/or ridiculous ways. For instance: Three friends played Russian Roulette with an unexploded landmine. They each stomped on it then handed it to the next person. Result? No bits left to identify who was who. Then there's the one about six people who drowned trying to save a chicken who fell down a well. The chicken survived.
This book was not my choice and not very entertaining and let's face it, who wants to read about fools who die stupidly anyway? I mean, really?!

You may see a pattern with the books MM chose. Short stories work well for the four minutes between head hitting pillow and mouth entering snoreville. As for me, I am famous for my longevity. Just don't expect me to get up in the morning.

Do me a favour? Give me a call at about 3pm?

Thanks.





Cellphone Hackers Can Get You!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
We went to Mexico for a day trip two weeks ago. Whilst there we had an interesting adventure recorded on this blog entry here. We took our three phones so we could call each other if necessary. Unbeknownst to us, one of our phone numbers had been hacked and, according to the invoice we got today, used to call various numbers in Honduras and Mexico bringing our bill to $1800.00.

Apparently, it is not difficult to mess with people's phones. I copied this from the WIRED website... "In the 17 minutes we wandered around, Laurie's computer picked up signals from 39 phones. "It takes only 15 seconds to suck down somebody's address book, so we could have had a lot of those," he says at last. "And at least five of these phones were vulnerable to an attack."
The "attack" Laurie mentions so casually could mean almost anything - a person using another person's cell to make long distance calls or changing every phone number in his address book or even bugging his conversations. There are, he says, "a whole range of new powers" available to the intrepid phone marauder, including nasty viral attacks." Click here to read the article in full.

Call your cellphone provider TODAY and find out how secure your phone is. Don't bother, we just spoke to ours and they told us, "Our system is absolutely secure. It was a one in a million occurence!" which is complete ROT because I looked it up already. If you have the right equipment, it's easy as pie. The trouble is that technology changes so fast the security measures have difficulty keeping up. It's not just your cell phone you need to be worried about. Anything that utilizes wireless technology is vulnerable.

So we are waiting with bated breath to see whether the cellphone company insist we pay the bill. We kindly reported the breach in their system to them. They cancelled the number. We requested a credit. They are thinking about it. We better get the whole thing credited or heads will roll.

Be aware. Turn your cellphone off when you don't need it. (Kind of defeats the purpose though eh?)

When Fairy Tales Go Wrong

Monday, December 01, 2008 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
When I was a kid, my favourite Sesame Street News Flash was the one featuring Prince Charming and Rapunzel.
("Let down my what?")
I used to do Guy Smiley skits at school in front of my class! I must've been a weird kid. That was back in the day when Sesame Street was funny. Jim Henson was a genius.

What's your favourite?




(I've lost my horsey!)


Worst and Best Books Of All Time

Sunday, November 30, 2008 Posted In , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I happened across this goodreads list of the "Worst Books Of All Time" completely by accident, but it truly made my day when I saw which book occupied 2nd place. Click here and enjoy a good laugh for the well-deserved placement of BOOK NUMBER TWO!

In stark contrast was the "Best Books Ever" list where you can see the well-deserved placement of BOOK NUMBER TWO that I am hoping will soon be promoted to Number One position... click here. (DO NOT repeat, DO NOT scroll down to see who occupies 6th place!)

Whaddya reckon? Doesn't it warm the cockles of your heart?




This Too Will Pass... FINALLY

Sunday, November 30, 2008 Posted In , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I am having a LAST DAY of NaBloPoMo PARTY!

Bring some goodies over to my house (no meat or bread, and don't forget the straw) and tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999!!

You can't see right now but I am dancing a little jig and singing praises for December! Blessed, wonderful December. Not November.

So, this is my final November post! Now I only need to write about my life's disasters every other day! My faithful readers (all two of you) will have to wait two or THREE (maybe four!) days for a posting! What will you do with your time? You may have to take up a hobby.

Knitting is good.



Paparazzi

Saturday, November 29, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I almost spoke to someone who could have photographed someone who may or may not be getting married today and who may or may not be FAMOUS!

I KNOW!! Don't you just wish you were me sometimes?!

It was my brother's last day in the USA, so we took him to see some famous sights on the way to the airport. Driving up the street to the "Hollywood" sign we passed a dozen or so people holding expensive looking "super-duper zoom lens" cameras. They were standing at the end of a driveway with their cameras at the ready.
Curious to know what was happening, we slowed to let W roll down the window and ask them what they were doing.
Guess what?! They wouldn't tell us! They said something about a wedding but clammed up when asked who was getting married.
I understand their reticence. I really do. It's all about being the first to publish the latest gossip with the latest pictures and I'm sure we looked like a serious threat with our three megapixel "point and shoot" cameras clutched eagerly in our hands.

If W didn't have to catch a flight I would've suggested we park and wait to see who comes down the driveway of that million dollar mansion. But, alas, we had no time, so all I could do was fling them an imaginary parting shot: "Yeah, you guys got a lucky break! You could have been out of a JOB because I would have snapped the MILLION DOLLAR PICTURE with my VIVITAR and then BLOGGED ABOUT IT and EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WOULD KNOW before you even got out of the cul de sac! So THERE!"

So, if you ever read about the possible wedding taking place today, possibly somewhere in California between one or two possible celebrities, be smug in the knowledge that you READ about it HERE FIRST!
 Bringing you the inside scoop... twenty four, SEVEN.



Gravy Train

Saturday, November 29, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
So I cooked meatloaf for my Thanksgiving Dinner and roast beef for all the people who could actually chew. I was slightly panicked about the whole thing because it all rested on me and you know... the pressure to make it all come together fabulously was quite intense.
So everyone came over and dinner was late because the roast took three hours longer than the recipe said it should. But the meatloaf was already cold because it only took one hour to cook. And one of my guests is a chef so yep, more pressure. She stood next to me and watched me stir my lumpy gravy then reached over to turn the gas down (or up?), thought better of it and pretended she was just scratching her wrist, then hovered nervously watching me continue to stir the gravy! After five more minutes of her scrutiny I ran out to find reinforcements... "S! I need you to come and get rid of the gravy police PLEASE!"
S took her aside and asked her all sorts of inane questions desperately trying to keep her out of the kitchen but after a few minutes, she was back on duty at my side. Finally I handed her a spoon and said, "You're the expert. What else does this gravy need?" She took a sip and then said, "Salt and pepper is all", then walked out. No citation. I was sure I was going to get a fine but didn't even get a warning. ("If I see you do this again I WILL give you a ticket!")

Oh no! I'm turning into one of those boring people who blog about gravy! Forget I mentioned it... just scroll down...


down...



down...



down...




So we had a lovely time with the family and when everyone had left, I went to get a second helping of the sad little meatloaf and spied a huge pile of roast beef sitting forlorn on the counter, and NO meatloaf! They ate my "dentist approved" food!


What is the world coming to?




Tree Huggers

Friday, November 28, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Isn't it true that the weakest bladder rules the car? We stopped numerous times at the side of the road to accommodate one young man (who shall remain nameless) until we arrived at the appropriately named town “Los Banos” to use… los banos.

We went to Sequoia National Park to see some giant redwoods. I was seriously nauseated on the twisty-turny road and narrowly avoided an incident involving peanut M&Ms and fanta. This is when Los Banos would have once again, come in handy.

Every one kept their eyes peeled for black bears (known to roam the region) while I was just trying not to vomit. We stopped at the first HUMUNGOUS tree and I staggered over to take some pictures. ‘Twas quite amazing to see trees so huge. We hugged a tree to see how many people we could get around the base of it. There were seven of us and we got about three quarters of the way around. After that bit of fun I spent the next half hour picking bits of red bark out of my top.


Can you see the ant-sized S and MM between two of the Four Guardsmen?

We stopped directly under a tree that had fallen across the road and had been hollowed out to accommodate the traffic. P whined at her mother for something and S said, “We can't, we’re in the middle of a tree at the moment.”


An hour later we were well on our way home and W and S were privileged to experience the sights (police brought all traffic to a standstill on the freeway - no idea why), tastes (A&W rootbeer floats), and odours of California driving. (No less than three skunk sprays wafting in, "Arrghhh... what is that STINK?").

Good times.


I'm Thankful

Thursday, November 27, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
For the Saviour and His undivided attention.
For every morning that has no earthquake the night before.
For a great husband who puts up with me and pays for my dental work.
For kids who will feed me when I'm old and pay for my dental work.
For kids who still give their mother kisses before leaving for school.
For kids who do stupid funny things that I can blog about.
For kids who cook dinner occasionally.
For kids who give back rubs.
For hummingbirds.
For laptops.
For jello and ice cream and other soft foods.
For hot water and soap.
For pot plants.
For health and optimism.
For toilets that flush themselves.
For Moroni.
For paper bags.
For garlic and salt.
For people who consider me their friend.
For knitting needles.
For visiting teachers who bring dinner.
For seeds.
For a GPS named Rachel.
For a worldwide family.
For organic shampoo.
For grass and lawn mowers.
For ancestry.com.
For emergency rooms and patience.
For access to information.
For faith and gratitude.
For toothbrushes.
For Hallmark e-cards.
For bridges and roads.
For pink pyjamas.
For treadmills that you can hang stuff on.
For sales at Kohls.
For fossil fuels.
For matching socks.
For red nail polish and swivel chairs.
For self-deprecating humour.
For mothers who blog.
For park swings and waterfalls.
For Lady Godiva chocolate.
For the colour blue.
For choices.
For cold weather and rain.
For kitty litter.
For digital cameras.
For when the trial is over and I can breathe.
For repentance and mercy.
For 80s music.
For wet wipes.
For supermarkets and shopping carts.
For good literature.
For pain relief.
For lessons learned.
For ROFL.
For paying the electricity bill before disconnection. Just.
For Temple work.
For blue jeans.
For CAPITAL letters.
For garage door openers.
For green cards to get out of Tijuana with.
For school.
For a full moon.
For BYU tv.
For people who look after my children while I'm away having fun.
For bicycles.
For eyebrows.
For table tennis.
For scrambled eggs.
For uninterrupted afternoon naps.
For people who teach me something without knowing it.
For Cheryl.




San Fran Icon...

Thursday, November 27, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
... Sam Wo's. I wondered if MM got it completely wrong when he directed me to walk into this dirty little restaurant in Chinatown.



It is supposed to be a favourite with locals and tourists alike but I was not sure we had come to the right place when I looked through the front door. "Is this the back door? Kitchen entrance? Stables? Pig trough?"


You are supposed to go in here. You walk through the kitchen and up the narrow stairs. All the utensils and plates are on a filthy cupboard thingie against the wall. The tables and chairs are old and nasty. The walls and floors are stained and icky. (Keep your hands to yourself if you know what's good for you.)


There is a dumb waiter that the grumpy waitress pokes her head into and yells some scary-sounding Chinese down. The service is indifferent at times, surly at others. Apparently, "grumpy" has been working there for twenty years and told one friend's date, "You no like blocolli? Look! Is good!" and proceeded to eat it.



For all it's faults (and there are many), this place is legendary. It has been in business more than 100 years and it looks like it. Apparently, the previous owner used to make the customers get their own drinks and serve themselves whilst he was insulting them. "You retarded? We no serve coke in here! Look on menu! No fork... chopstick only!"
If you want to go there, be careful to keep the kids away from the balcony. It's a 2nd floor dive to disaster. "Grumpy" herded the children away from it more than once. "No go there!"
The food was good... and cheap. I recommend it if you want to have an unusual experience to reminisce about. ("Remember the time we all got e.coli? Oh, the memories!")

It's Only Food

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I just had major dental work. I went to see my dentist because I broke a tooth whilst eating lunch (Curse you Sam Wo!) and he declared that I also needed some bridge work so I now have a temporary bridge installed in my still throbbing mouth.
My dentist likes to make little jokes. He thinks it puts people at their ease. He leaned me back in the chair so far my feet were higher than my head. He said, "Don't worry, you won't slide off. I've only lost two patients that way."
Har, har. My sense of humour is excellent when I'm in intense pain.

So the dentist told me I can't eat certain meats or chewy foods "like bread". What?? Meat and bread?! That's only everything I eat! And there goes Thanksgiving dinner!

I had to ring my cousin and tell him, "So this is the menu for Thanksgiving. Ground beef, mashed potato, creamed spinach, puréed carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce and hot chocolate."
"Mmm, you make it sound so good." he said.

OK, no, I am not that mean. I will cook REAL food for EVERYONE ELSE while I SUCK my Thanksgiving meal THROUGH A STRAW.

Don't worry about me... I will be fine with my turkey shake.

NO PROBLEM.


Backlash In Brief

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I've had so many requests (okay - just one) for information about the Prop 8 backlash. We know about the grafitti, the vandalism, the angry mobs and the lack of TOLERANCE... an attitude much promoted by, yet never to be found in a gay activist.

The Bad News:
Currently doing the internet rounds is the "Blacklist" of LDS contributors to the Yes on Prop 8 campaign. These people are being targeted with vicious, highly personalized attacks. People are losing their livelihoods, LDS owned stores are being boycotted and defaced and even small-time donators are being confronted. White powder has been mailed to LDS Temples. Disappointing to say the least is the lack of forceful denouncement of this abhorrent behaviour from anybody in a position of influence.

The California Supreme Court has agreed to hear three petitions challenging the legality of Prop 8. The gays say that instead of an "amendment" to the State Constitution, Prop 8 is a "change" to the Constitution which they argue is not legal. What happened to the separation of Church and State?

The Good News:
Prop 8 passed. No gay marriages can currently be performed. We are right and they are wrong. Maintaining the status quo will be a blessing to the ungrateful gays as well as the rest of us. "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do."

Or maybe they do.

Of Biblical Proportions

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
San Francisco is slowly pushing its LDS residents out of the city. It's not because the hate crimes are getting the better of them, (smashed windows, mobs outside the Temple etc…) but the cost of city living is high and there are few good schools that people feel comfortable sending their children to.
There are 770,000 people within the Bay area and only one Stake. It's a beautiful, thriving city overlooking a breathtaking bay but you can barely walk one block without tripping over toothless beggars who are harmless but in desperate need.

One wonders if/when the situation will be similar to that of Lot not being able to find ONE honest person within the city before he is commanded to leave and everything goes to heck from there.








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