I'm Thankful

Thursday, November 27, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
For the Saviour and His undivided attention.
For every morning that has no earthquake the night before.
For a great husband who puts up with me and pays for my dental work.
For kids who will feed me when I'm old and pay for my dental work.
For kids who still give their mother kisses before leaving for school.
For kids who do stupid funny things that I can blog about.
For kids who cook dinner occasionally.

For kids who give back rubs.
For hummingbirds.
For laptops.
For jello and ice cream and other soft foods.

For hot water and soap.
For pot plants.
For health and optimism.

For toilets that flush themselves.
For Moroni.
For paper bags.
For garlic and salt.

For people who consider me their friend.
For knitting needles.
For visiting teachers who bring dinner.
For seeds.

For a GPS named Rachel.
For a worldwide family.
For organic shampoo.
For grass and lawn mowers.

For ancestry.com.
For emergency rooms and patience.
For access to information.
For faith and gratitude.
For toothbrushes.

For Hallmark e-cards.
For bridges and roads.
For pink pyjamas.
For treadmills that you can hang stuff on.
For sales at Kohls.
For fossil fuels.
For matching socks.

For red nail polish and swivel chairs.
For self-deprecating humour.

For mothers who blog.
For park swings and waterfalls.
For Lady Godiva chocolate.
For the colour blue.
For choices.
For cold weather and rain.
For kitty litter.
For digital cameras.
For when the trial is over and I can breathe.

For repentance and mercy.
For 80s music.
For wet wipes.

For supermarkets and shopping carts.
For good literature.
For pain relief.
For lessons learned.

For ROFL.
For paying the electricity bill before disconnection. Just.
For Temple work.
For blue jeans.
For CAPITAL letters.

For garage door openers.
For green cards to get out of Tijuana with.
For school.

For a full moon.
For BYU tv.

For people who look after my children while I'm away having fun.
For bicycles.
For eyebrows.
For table tennis.
For scrambled eggs.

For uninterrupted afternoon naps.
For people who teach me something without knowing it.

For Cheryl.




I know what Halloween is REALLY about!

Thursday, October 30, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I was 36 years old when I first went trick or treating. I know! I'd been horribly deprived for 36 years! It's a wonder that I grew up mostly normal.
You see, nobody knocked on doors for free treats in New Zealand when I was a kid. We didn't even dress up. We didn't have those excessively orange, uber pumpkins on our doorsteps. We didn't have ghost or skeleton decorations. The only Halloween activities we witnessed were broadcast to us, from America, on the telly. If dad let us watch it. Instead of the Cricket.
It was useless trying to actually go out trick or treating. The only time my brother and I managed to get the courage to try it, we were chased off the property. And we couldn't even see who chasing us because we'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the sheet. It was pretty scary.
Now that I'm nearly grown up, I have children who enjoy trick or treating and the pumpkins and the ghosts, the costumes and the treats, the whole thing really. But I have grave (geddit?... grave!) reservations. Because I know that the blood soaked chainsaws and smoke machines are all just props and the real Halloween is about SUGAR. It is the sole intention and goal for all children to have tons of candy all day and all night. And the parents go along with it! But I want to put a stop to it!
Foolish, impossible wish...
Unless...
I have a GREAT idea. Go to every house that they could conceivably canvas and ask the nice people to only hand out Vegemite jars and kiwifruit to the a)Ice Queen with a sparkly blue face, b)Black Widow complete with spiderweb collar, c)rugby player with stripey socks. Yes!............ No! Logistical nightmare and the kids would get suspicious. ("Let's see what you got kids! Fifty seven jars of yeast extract each. Yay!")
OK, this is better... tell them we're going....to..........Disneyland! Yes! I am so clever! No! I am so stupid! I would actually have to take them TO Disneyland!
Alright...I've got it... I really have. I am going to BRIBE them! For every 5 pieces of candy they give me, I will pay them 25 cents. Then I will take them shopping and they can choose their favourite....um.... candy. Hmmm, that needs a little work...