Slave Drivers

Sunday, December 28, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
Now that Christmas is done, the cooking is done and we have leftovers to last six days, it's time to relax and breathe for a bit. Isn't it? No?
"Mum, I need you to take me to Barnes and Noble."
"... Kohls."
"... GameStop."
"... Walmart."
"... HobbyTown."

Curse you gift cards!

Here are my various responses...
a) "Get out of here before I karate chop you... Hi-Yaa!"
b) "I'll take you if you pay... show me the money first."
c) "Arrchhoooo! I cad't. I'b tick."
d) "Ask your dad."

So far answer d) has worked best (because MM is a push over). The kids didn't fall for c) and a) just made them laugh. b) almost worked... "Just take the money mum, take it." (mournful face)
Ah, crap.

The Best Christmas Ever

Saturday, December 27, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
I share President Monson's sentiments... this has been the best Christmas ever.

Although we were careful to shop frugally, we still enjoyed an abundance of gifts (cameras, DVD players, MP3 players, PSP game systems, paintball guns, perfume and chocolate... Lady Godiva of course) and an over-abundance of food.

Christmas morning saw the usual chaos... wrapping paper flung off and boxes ripped into... shouts of glee... yahooing... scoffing candy canes and so on.

In spite of the surrounding distractions... I still felt the spirit of the season more than in previous years.

The birth of the Saviour is a vital and tangible thing for me. Listening to Christmas hymns and carols brought deep feelings of gratitude. I try not to take for granted the blessing it is to know and understand the Saviour's purpose, although I am sure I am an 'unprofitable servant' and not 'easy to be entreated'. Whatever my faults (and they are legion), I still felt special and counted as a child of God.

It doesn't get any better than this.

Define "Crazy"

Friday, December 26, 2008 Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I was doing a wee bit of blog walking tonight, reading some funny, serious, boisterous, cute and heart-rending posts, and I came to the conclusion that we as bloggers and mums belittle ourselves unnecessarily and generally expect too much from ourselves.
It's true... tell me how many blogs you have seen that have titles like "The Crazy House", and "Welcome to my Insanity", "Nutcase Habitat" and "My Asylum" etc?
Lots, right?
Yeah, so I pondered on that, it being Christmas and a perfect time to ponder, (in between cooking, cleaning, and cooking and cleaning) and wondered why we think we are so dysfunctional. Because we really aren't. We are perfectly normal people living in a challenged, disaffected, desensitized world.

It's quite normal to feel that we are crazy. We'd be crazy to think that we aren't.

(Mr Bean's Christmas... and I promise this is the last Christmas video for the year.)



Snoopy's Christmas Song

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
I love Snoopy and I grew up hearing this song at Christmastime... so here it is for your viewing pleasure and mine...





Twilight Christmas

Monday, December 22, 2008 Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Funny Twilight Christmas parody...





Have You Done Your Christmas Shopping?

Sunday, December 21, 2008 Posted In , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
No I haven't. Actually, we were waiting for our two other kids to come home before we embark on the Great Christmas Shopping Experience. I know that cuts it a bit close because they arrived with only three days to spare. Plus I am hopelessly disorganized, plus we reduced the budget, plus the kids keep changing their minds about what they want, plus I hate spending money, plus I really don't enjoy shopping. Nope.

By the time we get to the Mall I know we will be running around like maniacs (speaking from experience) trying to hide the gifts from each other while also trying not to lose each other in the mayhem. And there's never enough time.

For sure I will make sure we won't be locked in the Mall like we were a few years ago. First we wondered why there were no people around, then we noticed all the shops were closed. It didn't occur to us that they would close early on Christmas Eve. After walking around aimlessly a bit, I started looking for a decent place to sleep ("I call the palm tree!") while C was wailing about spending Christmas Day in the Mall. (I was hoping the trauma would give her an aversion to Malls... no such luck.)
To everyone's relief we eventually found our way out thanks to the laughing security guard.

I think I'll give the kids cash this year.


It's a Christmas Party at My House!

Friday, December 19, 2008 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
It's safe... you can come over. All evidence that we are dysfunctional has been removed and the Christmas decorations are up. We now look normal. I even vacuumed. And I put stuff away - in it's rightful place. No, I didn't chuck all the clutter into the upstairs bathroom... I'm not that weird.

The food storage is in there.

OK, no, I'm just yanking your chain. We took all that out when W came to stay so he wouldn't suspect.

Really.... come on over. I baked cookies. There's three left. I'll save them for you. We can have hot chocolate and three cookies and feel snug and warm in front of the fire whilst watching the snow falling. OK, no again. Snow and I are not friends. He left me out of his party so he's not invited to mine.

But you can come. Did I mention I have cookies?

Awesome Christmas Light Display

Thursday, December 18, 2008 Posted In , Edit This 1 Comment »


A Kiwi Christmas

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
Even though I've been living in the US for six years, it still feels weird to have Christmas in winter. Right now I am hanging up wet coats and shaking droplets out of umbrellas when I should be throwing a towel over my tanned shoulder and heading for a sandy white beach in New Zealand. Here is a picture, just to make you jealous... and yes, this is the actual beach I lived close to and yes, it is gorgeous and beautiful and yes, I took it completely for granted and YES, now I am COMPLETELY HOMESICK!


Last night I checked the weather forecast (for here, not there) and was interested to read that we had a high chance of snow today which, as you know, is a rare occurrence for this part of Southern California. So I thought, "If I can't have pure sunshine at Christmas, at least I can have a bit of flaky white happiness." But nooooo... the Universe did not concur. No snow for me. (self-pitying shrug)

I know what you're thinking... "Can she BE any luckier! Southern California! I'd give my eldest child to be there right now!" or thoughts to that effect. Yeah, I'm spoilt, hard to please, demanding, yada, yada... yawn.

OK... I've thought about it and you're right... I have alot to be thankful for. My MIL is dealing with black ice and slush and freezing weather and I'm sitting here in my 70 degree home complaining. Someone whack me over the head with a frozen turkey. Or ham. Or those big beefy steaks, or, oooh, I know, those little chicken wings... with honey mustard sauce.

Thank you. I needed that.

Decoratively Challenged

Friday, December 12, 2008 Posted In , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
When I visit my friend's homes I am so impressed with their indoor/outdoor Christmas decorating prowess. Their homes look fabulous and smell delicious. I am in awe of the enormous yet tastefully decked out trees, (one in each room in extreme cases) and pretty twinkling lights winding up the wazoo banister.

Then I go home. No lights. No tree. No spicy pumpkin pie aromas wafting tantalizingly past my nostrils. I have a home devoid of Christmas cheer. Good thing the Relief Society doesn't know about me or I'd already be receiving the "Are-you-sure-you're-alright? Is-there-anything-we-can-do?" phone calls.

It was the same last year. We didn't get the tree up until a few days before Christmas.

I am so. hopeless.

I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to put everything up tomorrow while the children are at school. They will come home and be so impressed; it'll be worth at least half an hour of good behaviour.
(Ha, ha, who am I kidding?)

OK, Now I'm Scared

Thursday, December 11, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Food Riots, Tax Rebellions By 2012...

Trend forecaster, renowned for being accurate in the past, says the man who predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union is now forecasting revolution in America, food riots and tax rebellions - all within four years, while cautioning that putting food on the table will be a more pressing concern than buying Christmas gifts by 2012.

Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute, is renowned for his accuracy in predicting future world and economic events, which will send a chill down your spine considering what he told Fox News this week.

Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts."We're going to see the end of the retail Christmas....we're going to see a fundamental shift take place....putting food on the table is going to be more important that putting gifts under the Christmas tree," said Celente, adding that the situation would be "worse than the great depression".

"America's going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for," said Celente, noting that people's refusal to acknowledge that America was even in a recession highlights how big a problem denial is in being ready for the true scale of the crisis. Celente, who successfully predicted the 1997 Asian Currency Crisis, the subprime mortgage collapse and the massive devaluation of the U.S. dollar, told UPI in November last year that the following year would be known as "The Panic of 2008," adding that "giants (would) tumble to their deaths," which is exactly what we have witnessed with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and others.

He also said that the dollar would eventually be devalued by as much as 90 per cent. The consequence of what we have seen unfold this year would lead to a lowering in living standards, Celente predicted a year ago, which is also being borne out by plummeting retail sales figures.

The prospect of revolution was a concept echoed by a British Ministry of Defence report last year, which predicted that within 30 years, the growing gap between the super rich and the middle class, along with an urban underclass threatening social order would mean, "The world's middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest," and that, "The middle classes could become a revolutionary class."

In a separate recent interview, Celente went further on the subject of revolution in America."There will be a revolution in this country," he said. "It's not going to come yet, but it's going to come down the line and we're going to see a third party and this was the catalyst for it: the takeover of Washington, D. C., in broad daylight by Wall Street in this bloodless coup. And it will happen as conditions continue to worsen."

"The first thing to do is organize with tax revolts. That's going to be the big one because people can't afford to pay more school tax, property tax, any kind of tax. You're going to start seeing those kinds of protests start to develop."

"It's going to be very bleak. Very sad. And there is going to be a lot of homeless, the likes of which we have never seen before. Tent cities are already sprouting up around the country and we're going to see many more."

"We're going to start seeing huge areas of vacant real estate and squatters living in them as well. It's going to be a picture the likes of which Americans are not going to be used to. It's going to come as a shock and with it, there's going to be a lot of crime. And the crime is going to be a lot worse than it was before because in the last 1929 Depression, people's minds weren't wrecked on all these modern drugs – over-the-counter drugs, or crystal meth or whatever it might be. So, you have a huge underclass of very desperate people with their minds chemically blown beyond anybody's comprehension."
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