Psychologically Dependent

Friday, December 19, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
You've heard the saying, "A clean house is the sign of a broken computer." This is appropriate in my case, or more fitting for me would be, "A neglected and filthy house is the sign of a mind-bogglingly addicted, internet lunatic." Yeah, that's more like it.
So, I decided to figure out where my time went yesterday, after the kids were safely deposited at school...(I won't include all the driving around I did but suffice to say, I left the house six times yet never felt like I went anywhere.)

9.30 - 10.30 - emails.
10.30 - 11.30 - create posting for blog.
11.30 - 1.45 - genealogy online, nutella sandwiches for lunch.
2.00 - 2.30 - pick up child, talk to him a bit whilst folding Mt Everest pile of washing.
2.30 - 3.30 - pick up other kids and talk to them a bit, drive child to Den Meeting.
3.30 - 4.30 - assist with homework i.e. pretend I know something, go pick up cub scout.
5.30 - 6.30 - cook dinner, assist scout to bake cookies for Pack Meeting, eat most of them.
6.30 - 9.30 - eat dinner though curiously not hungry, clean-up, finish folding Mt Everest, watch one tv show, send ratbags to bed.
9.30 - midnight - chat with hubby for two or three minutes, read emails, blog, reading blogs, emails, blogs, more blogs, a bit of genealogy, blogs, blogging blogs...

So, I count SIX and a half hours a day doing something online!!! Granted, the genealogy thing is related to my desire to do temple work, (and I'm a ward Family History Consultant) and every day is different but do you see how much I neglect my house...and possibly...my life??

Am I the only one who suffers from this disease?

I'm A Food Fanatic... Oops, I Mean Food 'Storage' Fanatic

Friday, December 05, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
This year I have been making more of an effort to obtain food storage and become more prepared for emergencies. I have even been to the cannery and bought a million cans of wheat! I acquired some food storage cook books and bought a grain mill. I even have some of that freeze-dried powdered muck and 20 gallons of honey. All I need now is an idiot who will eat this stuff because my kids sure won't!

But I am still so excited about emergency preparedness that you could almost call me an Everyday Food Storage FANATIC. Actually, no, that sentence was a shameless plug for the blog of the same name, and a plea to be entered into their contest. I love winning things, don't you?

Which isn't to say I am not a food storage fanatic... just maybe not an everyday one. Perhaps I'm an every-other-month fanatic, which hardly qualifies me for the fanatic title so just forget I mentioned it. The important thing is that I am in the competition and I love winning things, don't you?

So anyway, I'm off to the shop to buy 10 cans of dehydrated 'whatever is on special'. I just saw a sale for pork flavoured TVP. Mmmm, sounds delish!

Don't Mess With The Universe!

Thursday, November 13, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
We went to see Madagascar 2 because the kids JUST HAD to see it. I don't recommend it...
The slapstick is awful, the dialogue contrived and patronizing and there are more than a few tasteless references to the derrière. Not to mention that this is the ONLY theatre movie I have ever fallen asleep watching. Not worth it. Save your money. Although the children are still chanting the one song that appealed to them, ("I like 'em BIG, I like 'em CHUNKY!"), I suggest you see Kung Fu Panda instead.

I took my daughter to the hairdresser after the movie. She wanted to get a cut while I was getting a colour. She asked for her hair to be layered. Fifteen minutes later I looked over and saw carnage all over the floor! The stylist (aka Mrs Scissorhands) had given her a bowl head!
My own stylist was so horrified that she complained to the Manager on our behalf, gave C some highlights to 'feminize' the cut and sent us a free haircut voucher which is no compensation to an eleven year old who has to attend school all day looking like she is still wearing her bicycle helmet.

This is C before:



This is C after:



Thank goodness for the highlights!

The moral of the story is...
Never go to a movie sequel and get your hair cut on the same day! It messes with the cosmos and no amount of feng shui is gonna help you then.

Update: C went to school feeling very apprehensive, then FIVE people told her she looks like Rihanna! (you know... that R&B, pop-star girl from Barbados.) So here is what Rihanna looks like...



... and the only reason I don't yet have an 'after' pic of C here is because she refused to let the camera within fifty feet of her. Keep your eyes peeled tho' because I am wearing her down!

Here it is...



Christmas Shopping List 2008

Monday, November 10, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »

It's never too early to start shopping for the perfect present for that person who has everything. These selections are sure to please! Just helping you out. You know me.
How about a Stylish Red High-Heel Doorstop?






For the person who annoys you... the Backward Clock!






Control-A-Kid. Virtual parenting at the touch of a button!
Buttons include 'Do Homework', 'Eat Greens', 'Kiss Granny', 'Tidy Room' and 'Grow Up'. No batteries required - powered by positive thinking.
Operating Instructions:
1. Point remote at subject.
2. Push any button.
3. Hope for the best.




Perfect for your best friend's home office! A Beautiful Tissue Box!









For the Star Wars fanatic... Clone Wars Rubber Duckies!








The perfect book for the egomaniac in your life!











How about a Darth Tater to add to your child's (or your) collection?









For your mother-in-law: stylish yet practical... Onion Goggles! (And get a pair for yourself!)





Irritating. Annoying. Infuriating. "Sat Nag" - the in-car nagging system. Push the button to hear highly irritating comments. For example:
'In 100 metres, I'm going to ask you to move into the slow lane so I can fix my make up.'
'You have reached your destination. You may now throttle your passenger.'
'I know you're a man, but it's been 45 minutes now. Can you please admit we're lost and ask someone the way?'


It's All About The NaBloPoMo

Sunday, November 02, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I'm doing it this year. If I can. Maybe I can't. I may need your help.

What is NaBloPoMo? It means National Blog Posting Month and it's a competition. To participate I have to submit a posting every day for the month of November.
The thing is, I have too many distractions to really dedicate time to this. Kids, husband and two cats, not to mention all the relatives around the world clamouring for my attention. (Just kidding; they don't even like me much.)
No, it's mainly the kids. I frequently go to bed and write while my husband is snoring so that's easy. It's the whole get up in the morning, clean the house, buy the groceries, cook meals and talk at, I mean, to the children that really takes up my time. And I'm also gainfully employed (part-time). So there goes another ten minutes.

You guys could really help me out with this. Here are some of my suggestions:
a) When you comment, please keep it to three to five words, like "You are awesome", or "You are SO awesome", or "I have money for you", or something like that. Just so I don't have to spend more time than absolutely necessary reading your rubbish thoughtful remarks.
b) I need someone to collect my children from school, throw some food at them and put them to bed. I know what you're thinking and no, they have no problem eating other people's filet mignon. But don't worry about me... I don't have to eat every day...
c) I know it stinks but the cats do need the litter changed daily. I will help you out by leaving the garage door ajar so you can crawl under there to reach the litterbox. Also, Lulu has fleas so remember to bring the Frontline with you. And don't get any of it on your skin because the chemicals inhibit reproduction. That only applies if you are female and aren't old. Anyone else should be fine.

OK - well I'm all set.

Thanks everyone!


Who Turned Off Halloween?

Saturday, November 01, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Did you get a memo from the Halloween Poobah saying Halloween is cancelled?
We left the house at around 7pm to go trick or treating. There was NOBODY around! People told us we were their first t.o.t ers! We walked down the street, turned the corner and emptiness! We checked our phones, ok, we got the date right. We checked the time, we're not too early. Shrug. Oh well.
We were quite prepared to be the only Countess Dracula (yes, it was a late name-change for C.), Rugby player with stripey socks and Nerd, oops I mean Scientist. The Ice Queen was at a party so she didn't come with us. Me? I went as a Tired Housewife...

The Ice Queen hates this pic (she didn't have all of her makeup on yet) so don't tell her I put it on here.

The geek/scientist... gorgeous!

Rugby man, "Take the picture already, I want to go!" Me- "Hang on, I haven't quite got the whole rubbish bin in the shot."

"Smile Countess!".... "No."

The kids were too scared to walk up to the house so HE came to US!

Posing with "It".
I thought this was an actual person on the roof ready to jump on us!

Some decorations were truly scary...!


So anyway, it took about 45 minutes for more Halloweeners to join us on the streets. Even then, there were less than half of the people we saw last year. It was a mystery..... until we drove past the Pumpkin Patch. There must have been HUNDREDS of cars overflowing the carparks. It was free night from 6 til 9. Can you imagine kids choosing to play on jumpies rather than go get candy? Our kids were like, "What's up with THAT?"
So then we found out that Great Oak High School had a game blah, blah, whatever... (can you tell I'm a diehard football fan?) so that's where the other half of the population was. Mystery solved. Halloween is intact. Too bad.

Here's the damage...

We decided to go with "The Bribe". One rule only - No Candy Purchases To Be Made With Bribe Money.

So, final tally, Ice Queen, 210 pieces = $10.50
The Countess, 151 pieces = $7.55
Rugby Man, 146 pieces = $7.30

I have to shell out $25.35 and I have bucket loads of sugar but I still feel like a WINNER!

Candy, anyone?

The Milky Way is Not Milky

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
So anyway, we went camping with our ward up in the mountains a few miles from Idyllwild. Only an hours drive from home and we went from 95 degrees to 70! Bliss! It was a beautiful area with lots of pine trees and grassy areas sourrounded by pretty multi-coloured mountains. We set the tent up for the kids (A. liked the tent so much she said she could live in there - yeah riiiight!) and then we put a sleeping bag in the back of the Ford Expedition for MM and Moi. I am 'tent challenged'. I do not like being in close proximity to:
A. dirt
B. things that live in dirt
C. things that crawl in dirt
D. things that slither in dirt
We had a talent show and saw the depths to which people will go to entertain others. I will not mention the half-naked Judge rippling his 6-pack abdomen around to music. Don't ask. You also don't want to know about the 5 teenage boys (2 of them were Bishop's kids) who brushed their teeth with the same brush and rinsed with the same cup of water. Then the 5th kid drank it...YUCK.
To my surprise, both A. and C. got involved and did some impromptu skits with their friends. I may post some pictures...
So after the show and the s'mores and the fire and the kids running around throwing pine cones at eachother, MM and I went for a walk to a clearing where we looked up and saw the stars. Don't get me wrong, I have seen stars before, even shooting stars, but I have never seen SO many, SO bright and SO beautiful! With the naked eye you could see the cloudiness of the Milky Way but, by happy coincidence, MM had his binoculars ($5 from the Sallie shop) and we could then see that the 'cloudiness' was actually thousands of clusters of stars! What a show! And it was all free.
So, we slept in the back of the SUV and although it wasn't terribly comfortable, we managed to get some sleep before the smell of smokey bacon and eggs sent me stumbling out into the morning...





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