If You Bake It, I Will Come

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
If you want to be my BFF and I mean FOREVER, then this is the sure way to make me love you... really and truly.

Just bake me one (or five) of these:



It's a pavlova and it's a traditional New Zealand-Australian dessert that is crusty meringue on the outside and gooey meringue on the inside. I have already tried and failed (miserably to be honest) to make one. A slab of meat, I can cook to perfection, but baking is not my strong point. I am however, really, really good at sucking up. I will make it worth your while. Honestly.


It's Only Food

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
I just had major dental work. I went to see my dentist because I broke a tooth whilst eating lunch (Curse you Sam Wo!) and he declared that I also needed some bridge work so I now have a temporary bridge installed in my still throbbing mouth.
My dentist likes to make little jokes. He thinks it puts people at their ease. He leaned me back in the chair so far my feet were higher than my head. He said, "Don't worry, you won't slide off. I've only lost two patients that way."

Har, har. My sense of humour is excellent when I'm in intense pain.

So the dentist told me I can't eat certain meats or chewy foods "like bread". What?? Meat and bread?! That's only everything I eat! And there goes Thanksgiving dinner!

I had to ring my cousin and tell him, "So this is the menu for Thanksgiving. Ground beef, mashed potato, creamed spinach, puréed carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce and hot chocolate."
"Mmm, you make it sound so good." he said.

OK, no, I am not that mean. I will cook REAL food for EVERYONE ELSE while I SUCK my Thanksgiving meal THROUGH A STRAW.

Don't worry about me... I will be fine with my turkey shake.


NO PROBLEM.



Jarheads and Harleys

Monday, October 20, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
So anyway, we were invited to MM's cousins home for a Sunday afternoon family dinner. When we pull up to the apartment complex, the security guard (alias Gestapo Lady) approaches and writes down our license plate number, asks us who we're going to see then calls him to confirm we are not enemy spies. Then we are given a set of 'rules and regulations' for the complex, and MM has to sign it... all the while, the security camera is trained right on us. I was very tempted to make faces at it but didn't want us get us kicked out so very stoically eyed the thing instead. (OK, I stuck my tongue out at it, but only once.)

Then, to add a little more indignity, we were told we could not take our vehicle to the apartment but could park it at the gate and walk up (yes, UP!) to his home. I should've worn my hiking boots.

This check-point debacle made our host J very annoyed and he vowed to "bash them" later.  I wouldn't like to get on his bad side. He's a Marine.

So, we had a nice quiet dinner with J and his son and girlfriend and room mate and her boyfriend and another couple of friends and various children... did I say quiet? No, this was unmistakably a BBQ 'party' complete with ear bleeding music.  Did I say music?
Wrong again.

I was about three million miles outside my comfort zone. This is not how I envisioned spending my sabbath. MM and I looked at each other then each dove in. We were going to make the best of it. We were there for J, to meet his baby son and his girlfriend and that meant we had to be in his world for a while...

So, I ignored the "music" and the alcohol and the abundance of skin and ink on skin and just started talking to whoever would talk back. 



Just before we left, one of J's friends (griller extraordinaire) told us the recipe for the steak marinade that we all wolfed down. Soy sauce and beer.
Oh....beer you say....oh.
"I could really taste the beer." he says.
Oh.... right.....uh huh...hmmm.

On the way home the kids said, "Now we know what beer tastes like!"


Meat.