But I didn't buy it. I went to Albertsons instead. It was blissfully clear of shoppers except for one lady with a BIG BEHIND. I won't tell you about the encounter with this rude lady who refused to move her shopping cart and her BIG BEHIND. I won't tell you about the way I used my shopping cart as a battering ram against her cart, to get into the Valentines aisle because she completely ignored my heartfelt "Excuse me, please!"
I won't tell you how she then tried to block my exit once I had found a pretty (but masculine) foot-art free card. I won't tell you that I kindly requested she move her BIG BEHIND AGAIN. My polite entreaty fallen on deaf ears, she wouldn't even LOOK at me! So I had to resort to using my shopping cart to bash my way OUT. Crash! Bang! Take THAT!
I hoped the security guys weren't watching and that they wouldn't confiscate my groceries and distribute my photo to all staff with the order... "DO NOT GIVE A SHOPPING CART TO THIS WOMAN!" I just know they would not prosecute the BIG BEHIND lady because she probably appeared on camera to be the innocent victim and I the guilty cart bashing perpetrator!
I practically ran through the checkout.
It was once I got home and breathlessly told MM about how RUDE some people can be and how they act like they're DEAF, that MM said to me, "How do you know she wasn't deaf?"
"Because she.... because I.... because..... AHHH CRAP!"