She Gets It From Her Father

Tuesday, January 06, 2009 Posted In , , , , Edit This 7 Comments »
C has bionic ears attuned to specific frequencies. If you open a candy wrapper fifty feet away from her, she will move with Edward-like stealth, and be at your side within seconds. A couple of strands of hair lift in the breeze and there she is. "Ohhh... can I have some?"

She can also hear the ice cream lid being removed and soda being poured into a glass. If I want to eat anything that contains sugar, I have to distract her with some ploy, remove myself to my bedroom, lock the sound proofed doors, get in bed, cover my head with multiple blankets, and carefully... carefully peel off the wrapper.

KNOCK, KNOCK, BANG, BANG.

"MUM! What have you got in there? Can I have some?"

Every time.



It's a Losing Battle

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
When, if ever, do I get to stop being a cop? I would really love to have a normal conversation without having to interrupt myself constantly, to prevent World War 3 in my house! Have you ever had a conversation like this?

Moi to MM: "Do you think...
STOP HITTING HIM!...
...that we could do something different for...
DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU TO STOP?!...
...Christmas dinner? I thought that we could...
WHY ARE YOU STILL TOUCHING HIM?...
...maybe have meatloaf again because...
ARE YOUR EARS PAINTED ON?...
...I didn't get much...
WHO THREW THAT?...
...of the Thanksgiving meatloaf.
So, I was hoping that...
PUT THAT DOWN!..
...we could...
PICK THAT UP!...
...have a non-traditional meal...
TAKE THAT OUT OF YOUR NOSE!...
...with all the traditional trimmings, and make it...
GET TO YOUR ROOM!...
...more of a Christmassy meatloaf?
Because I'm sure the kids...
DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!...
...won't care what they eat as long as...
GIVE ME THAT KNIFE!...
...there's ice cream afterward."

I'm Thankful

Thursday, November 27, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 2 Comments »
For the Saviour and His undivided attention.
For every morning that has no earthquake the night before.
For a great husband who puts up with me and pays for my dental work.
For kids who will feed me when I'm old and pay for my dental work.
For kids who still give their mother kisses before leaving for school.
For kids who do stupid funny things that I can blog about.
For kids who cook dinner occasionally.
For kids who give back rubs.
For hummingbirds.
For laptops.
For jello and ice cream and other soft foods.
For hot water and soap.
For pot plants.
For health and optimism.
For toilets that flush themselves.
For Moroni.
For paper bags.
For garlic and salt.
For people who consider me their friend.
For knitting needles.
For visiting teachers who bring dinner.
For seeds.
For a GPS named Rachel.
For a worldwide family.
For organic shampoo.
For grass and lawn mowers.
For ancestry.com.
For emergency rooms and patience.
For access to information.
For faith and gratitude.
For toothbrushes.
For Hallmark e-cards.
For bridges and roads.
For pink pyjamas.
For treadmills that you can hang stuff on.
For sales at Kohls.
For fossil fuels.
For matching socks.
For red nail polish and swivel chairs.
For self-deprecating humour.
For mothers who blog.
For park swings and waterfalls.
For Lady Godiva chocolate.
For the colour blue.
For choices.
For cold weather and rain.
For kitty litter.
For digital cameras.
For when the trial is over and I can breathe.
For repentance and mercy.
For 80s music.
For wet wipes.
For supermarkets and shopping carts.
For good literature.
For pain relief.
For lessons learned.
For ROFL.
For paying the electricity bill before disconnection. Just.
For Temple work.
For blue jeans.
For CAPITAL letters.
For garage door openers.
For green cards to get out of Tijuana with.
For school.
For a full moon.
For BYU tv.
For people who look after my children while I'm away having fun.
For bicycles.
For eyebrows.
For table tennis.
For scrambled eggs.
For uninterrupted afternoon naps.
For people who teach me something without knowing it.
For Cheryl.




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