What Has Been Seen Cannot Be Unseen

Friday, April 17, 2009 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 17 Comments »
One of my girls doesn't want me to tell anyone that she is grounded or how it came about. So here goes...

It all started when the girls announced that the Young Women from our ward would be fund raising for their Summer Camp by working in the local movie theatre.

On the appointed night, we took them to the theatre where they were given a list of their duties and sent to their stations. C was excited to be the "Welcomer". You know, the one that takes your ticket, hands you the stub and tells you in a bored voice to enjoy your movie.


A wanted to 'ush' and do the concessions. Hanging around popcorn is her favourite thing. I think she actually ended up cleaning toilets which I personally think is good training for the future. (If she doesn't get into MIT, at least she has a skill to fall back on.)

MM and I went to see "Mall Cop" (un-entertaining slapstick that was not particularly funny although everyone around me howled with laughter).

Halfway through the movie, the girls came in, announced that their 'shift' was over and that they were going movie-hopping.

When the movie was over we went out to wait for the girls. Eventually, one child emerged from "Bedtime Stories" and the other walked out of... OH NO, SHE DIDN'T!! "A Curious Case of Benjamin Button!"

As a family, we have banned PG-13 movies. I see them as a threat. This one had what I particularly hate - sexual content and bad language. I detest all forms of muck spoiling both my literary enjoyment and my viewing pleasure. Call me a prude - I relish the title. When I was a kid, the PG-13s were clean and the Rs had the rubbish. We have seen a gradual relaxation of standards over the years and have become so desensitized that we accept the depravity Hollywood hands us in our "family entertainment" without a whisper of protest. I cannot and will not stand idly by and allow them to pour filth into mine and my children's minds. Even the PGs contain stuff I would prefer not to be exposed to.

The child looked guilty as heck and insisted that she'd accidentally stumbled into the movie not realising that it was PG-13. I may have been easier on her if she'd shown some remorse or admitted that she'd been curious.... but all she did was act peed off that she'd been caught and get all angry and stupid.

This is why she missed a friends birthday party and is skulking around in her room at the moment.

But... do you think we were too harsh? I mean, we only expect from the children what we are willing to adhere to ourselves.

17 brilliant observations:

Lucy said...

You go girl. You are not too harsh. You are doing what you can to protect them from crap that is thrown at them constantly. They will be doing the same with their children. I shudder to think of what society will be like then. Perhaps this is a good time to go back to the Puritans. Ehhh....not sure about that.

Momza said...

Trust your instincts. If she made an honest mistake, you would know it...you'd feel it.
Stand your ground Momma.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I admire your standards. While I am concerned about what movies (and TV show! my kids see, I will consider the PG-13 if I or someone I trust has seen it, and it depends on the kid. Your way is much more careful and consistant, I think. And I echo 'Momza' -trust your instincts about whether it was an honest mistake or not.
:~D

Kristina P. said...

So, I guess you don't want a DirtyPlay as a gift? Mary Poppins topless? Huh?

And I agree with you about the movie standards. SOme of the stuff in PG-13 movies shock me.

Karen said...

Yeah, my movie standards are more relaxed than they should be. But I am really, really disappointed by the way that movies are rated these days. Instead of having a committee that rates films based on whether they like them, like the director, etc, there needs to be a strict standard of guidelines. Does it have the "F" word? Automatic R. Etc.

Machen family said...

I agree! Good for you...I'll start calling you the punisher

Barbaloot said...

I just don't understand the appeal of Benjamin Buttons. It looked ridiculous...as do, sadly, most movies these days.

The Garden of Egan said...

I have a few questions....is she your oldest?
If she is, well then lovey, get ready to be the meanest mom on the block. It may be a new title that you can't believe you have earned after being "most awesome" since their arrival onto the planet, but you may have to get used to wearing the crown. I know that I have several of those crowns and it doesn't bother me a bit.

As far as movies....well, we have never asked our kids to do something we weren't willing to do or not do ourselves so I think you are right on. As for TV, we got rid of ours. Nothing but trash.
If I need dark trashy humor...I go to Kristina's blog!!! (love you Kristina)

DeNae said...

No, you're not being too harsh. Just know, this gets harder the older they get. I promise you, you are going to look back on this daughter's childhood and decide you were more strict with her than with the others. There's no getting around it. But it becomes one judgment call after another once the first one gets to about age 15.

I'm telling you, this parenthood gig is not for sissy wimps.

Merrianne said...

you did the right thing!! i wish more mommas were like yoU!

Jen said...

I'm all about the tough love. And I don't think any rule you're all following as a family is too harsh.

Tammy said...

I don't have kids, but having been a teenager, I had my fair share of being "caught". She will appreciate this one day. You are teaching her morals and standards and we definitely need that in this world.

honeypiehorse said...

The Great Button Bust!

wendy said...

We can't answer that for you --every one may have their own set of values, but the important thing is for you to set your standards and stick by it --then the kids know WHAT IS EXPECTED OF THEM.
raising kids is hard

Sean said...

I won't weigh in on whether or not you were too harsh. That is every parent's decision. I do want to say a few things about movie ratings you should keep in mind.

1. The MPAA has no guidelines for their ratings. It is purely up to the group watching it on a given day what the rating will be. When you hear about a movie getting "re-cut" to lower the rating from R to PG-13, the filmmakers are not given any idea what or how much they should cut. That is why you sometimes see PG-13 movies with f-bombs or nudity, and others that could barely be considered PG.

2. There was no PG-13 rating until 1984. The Stephen Spielberg movies Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom were rated PG, and they were deemed too much by many parents. This prompted the MPAA to create the PG-13 rating, with the first PG-13 movie being Red Dawn, the Patrick Swayze movie where the Russians invade Colorado.

3. Jaws, the first "blockbuster", is considered to be one of the greatest horror movies of all time. It includes a nude girl being devoured, a young boy being eaten in front of a crowded beach, and several other famous and gruesome deaths. It is rated PG.

R Max said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
R Max said...

Thanks Sean for the info! The MPAA is broken. We have the standard of not seeing PG-13s at all and not seeing anything else if it introduces concepts contrary to our standards. So with Plan A and Plan B in effect at all times, we maintain vigilance... theoretically...