Potty Talk

Sunday, April 19, 2009 Posted In , , , Edit This 19 Comments »
I've visited some interesting public restrooms in my time. The Chinese like to squat over a hole in the floor while the Americans prefer that their bums not come in contact with the ground. The toilet I visited at the New Orleans airport was a fabulous feat of engineering. Every time you flush, it dispenses a clean seat cover onto itself. Twelve flushes later, I remembered what I went there for...

In New Zealand, they are extolling the virtues of the automatic toilet that cleans itself. Unless you are the poor lady who somehow got locked inside one and was given a thorough bowl clean at half past three. The lawsuit is ongoing.

I was in the movie theatre restroom when I overheard a mother and child talking...
Mother: "Keep still, you're getting it everywhere!"
Child: "I want to go to the Big Boy room!"
Mother: "You're too little!"
(Sound of a cellphone ringing.)
Mother: "No... leave it! DON'T.....!"

SPLASH
!

Who needs movies?

19 brilliant observations:

Kristina P. said...

Ewwwwwwww.

Tammy said...

Time for a new phone!

Loralee and the gang... said...

I keep my cell phone in my pocket all the time, and I always consciously make sure that when the pulling down and pulling up happens, that it doesn't come flying out into the bowl... and I'm guessin that little potty conversation was better that the movie, right?
Thanks for the comment about our fixer-house. Yes,it did have wood floors, but they were toast. Cheap toast, too, so so sad. Not at all worth restoring. Would have been very beautiful had it worked out.
:~D
Oh, and check out my outhouse post:
http://careysgang.blogspot.com/2008/08/ok-so-that-everyone-truly-knows-what.html
I think you'll like it. . .

Machen family said...

That is exactly why I don't own a cell phone!!

DeNae said...

Goodness, Machen family! No cell phone?? That just seems extreme in the extreme!

This IS however, the reason I don't use the restroom. As you might imagine, I am an unbelievably cranky person.

DeNae said...

...and may I add, my friend, you are ON today! Your comment on my last post about eating my hula dancers had me laughing myself intelligent!

No more laments about not being funny, Oh Queen of the Maoris. You are a KICK!!

The Garden of Egan said...

I would love to see a picture of the Japanese toilets, but I promise I would LOVE to have a toilet that has the seat cover covering itself! I would just stand there and flush for hours! YUP.
I'm like DaNae, I don't do "other" bathrooms besides my own. Sorry too icky! I hate germy places, my family is still amazed that I'm an ER nurse...now there's a germy place.

Momza said...

YOU need your own TV Show...I'd watch it religiously, I swear.

honeypiehorse said...

OK so if Americans like their buns on the seat so much, why is the seat always wet??? I think girls who pee on the seats should be forced at gunpoint to use Chinese holes in the ground instead of toilets.

Lissaloo said...

lol, that is too funny! I want a self cleaning toilet, & bathroom, & house :)

Lucy said...

Nothing is weirder than being...okay sitting... in a public restroom stall (airport/Mcdonalds/restaurant/pick one) and a cell phone rings in the stall next to you whereupon you here...."Hello"...and a continuing ongoing conversation until you're (or they) are through. I'll say it again. . . I hate cell phones. I have one and I still hate cell phones. Can people simply NOT be away from an incoming call for five minutes? Are they that afraid of missing somebody?

I think I just gave myself an idea for a blog post. Hmmm....

Lucy said...

Gads....h.e.a.r. Why is it so hard to spell correctly on posts and comments. The fingers and the brain are going too fast? It's embarrassing.

Merrianne said...

HA HAHHAA!
That is Funny!

Barbaloot said...

Ooh-I'm a little nervous for that New Zealand toilet...

Karen said...

At Girl Scout camp when I was around 9 or 10, we were on the buddy system for visits to the port-a-potties. It was dark and my buddy hadn't brought a flashlight, so I let her borrow mine while she ran in and did her business. A minute later I heard an "Uh oh."

That flashlight lit up the port-a-potty the entire rest of the weekend. I wish I knew what brand of batteries those were.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

They have those self-cleaners in Spain too. I was a little afraid. And having suffered much angst and accident on toilets in Beijing, I find American restrooms fantastic, even the gas station ones. They at least have a door, toilet paper that is not being sold at black market prices by a little old lady who patrols the entrance, and plenty of soap. As for the phones, I wish people would use bathrooms for what they're for and get out. (That includes hour-long preeners who put on make-up and hairspray while blocking the diaper changing area. Not bitter.)

Cheryl said...

For the first time in my life I want to go to New Orleans, just to see that potty! And yes, I got to spend 1 1/2 years of my life in Taiwan, squatting in public restrooms. Did you know that they also do not have doors that go down to the floor there, or even close to the floor, so it is quite a tricky feet to stay modest while not falling in. Anyway, I left a comment to your comment 2 times in a row on my blog, which is always strange, to talk back to you, knowing you probably won't ever read it, but I do it anyway. Love ya! (:

rychelle said...

have you seen pics of that toilet that is made of a one way mirror? no one can see in, but you can see out. crazy!

http://chrisnolan.ca/ID/955

Mother Goose said...

and after that splash, you would hear from my stall. maybe an expicative and then a smack, followed by a whine. btw, my kids are too old to have cps come. Life is good. LOL