Beware the Ides of Moi!

Monday, April 20, 2009 Posted In , , Edit This 16 Comments »
I suffer from an ailment. It's called "foot-in-mouth" disease. If I ever see a woman I know, with a largish tummy, I will not ask her, "When are you due?" No, I will not. Then I will not hear the resulting answer, "I had the baby six months ago!" And then I will not notice that the bundle she was clutching was not, in fact, an assortment of rags, but was, in fact, a six month old baby.

This is not the first time I have said something completely inappropriate. My brain is unfortunately connected to my mouth, so while I am still processing information, my mouth decides to pass the half-formed conclusion along before my brain can take evasive action.

Perhaps I should not have slunk away red-faced though I saw this as the only option at the time since MM was inconveniently absent just when I could have done with some diplomacy. Perhaps I should have said something, offered her money, chocolate, a cute little kitty? Was there any way of redeeming the situation?

16 brilliant observations:

ShoozieShoes said...

Oh, don't worry about it. I didn't feel THAT bad... ;-)

Barbaloot said...

Maybe, if you know of someone that lady particularly disliked, you could say "Oh, so-and-so told me you were expecting!" When in doubt, shift the blame:)

DeNae said...

Because it's a round number, no one believes me when I tell them: I've had this happen to me exactly 10 times in my life. I was the one being "congratulated". Twice in Spanish, no less.

And there was that one chick with the New Zealandy accent who may have said it, but I was so taken with how cute she talked I totally forgot to be offended.

So that was a lucky break.

Lucy said...

Welcome to my world. I just go through life offending people. I'm not a popular person. Sadly.

Merrianne said...

oh gosh! ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!! sounds like something that happened to Me once...i was the Postpartum gal though.

rachel said...

I fall asleep thinking of all the inappropriate things I've said that day...sigh.

Lissaloo said...

Once that foot-in-mouth gets ya there is no going back :)

Cheryl said...

Are you kidding? People are so caught up in your beautiful Kiwi accent that even when you are offending, they are thanking you for talking! But I am dying to know who you said it to?

Machen family said...

Next time that happens, just tell her that that is how New Zealanders greet each other..."Wow you sure look pregnant" or "when's that baby due?" those phrases are just metaphors to "what's up?" or "how's life treating you."

honeypiehorse said...

How old are you? I wonder if you're that evil woman who asked me if I was pregnant when I was a chubby and mature-looking 12-year-old?

Debbie said...

I did this a time or two and now I don't ask ever. Even if the kid was starting to crown, I wouldn't ask!

Launi said...

Yee-aah. Some of these things we only learn by experiencing them. Which is a pit. It could--I suppose, be worse...I mean you could be introducing your boyfriend to your friends and family and call him that wrong--very wrong name.
That could be bad...not that I would know. haha

Annie Valentine said...

If it makes it any better, I did this once to a woman at a party, with 20 of her friends listening in.

We can start a Big Mouth club. I'll be the activities coordinator...

Mother Goose said...

i have trouble filtering too. LOL, love it. well when it happens to someone else. found you at mmm

Karen said...

I am so completely paranoid of doing this that I absolutely will not say anything to any woman--even if it's pretty dang obvious that she's expecting--until she or someone near by actually says something about being pregnant or due dates or whatever.

Cherie said...

OK I love software like this I am going to have to go try some new doo's on myself! I think you look great in just about all of them. My fave though is the Jessica Biel look for you!!

Love your blog - Glad Merrianne highlighted you today!

Have a GOOD one :D