A Healthy Pre-Occupation

Friday, January 09, 2009 Posted In , , Edit This 4 Comments »
For all you kind people praying for me to find my Huge Belgian Hunk, (thank you, good and gracious friends!) pray no more....

I have been rescued from chocolate deprivation by the half-price sale at Fresh & Easy. Down from a paltry $1.99 to just $1! For ONE POUND bars!

I walked into the store and could barely contain myself when I saw the word: "Reduced". I may have lay down in the clearance bin right then and there if I hadn't seen other people in the store. Stupid witnesses!


Anyway, I decided that now is a perfect time to stock up for our food storage. So I bought five Belgians.

For FOOD STORAGE.

(For those people who think I am going to wait til the kids go to bed, run up to my bedroom, put on my Lucky Ducky pajamas, snuggle in bed with my book, then rip off that wrapper and shove chocolate down my gullet with gay abandon, SHAME ON YOU!)


(A wanted to model the Belgians so I let her... WAIT! Where is Huge Hunk Number Five?)


Thief-proof Chocolate

Friday, January 09, 2009 Posted In , , , Edit This 6 Comments »
I have discovered that the only way to ensure that a treat lasts more than ten minutes, is to hide it. Last night I knew I was going to have to do this with my "Huge Belgian Hunk". Three pairs of eyes were fixed on it for hours, probably hoping I would go to bed and leave it where they could sniff it out in the dead of night when I would be, theoretically, asleep. (Yes, they go to these lengths.)

But I foresaw this attempt (with my third eye) and I thwarted them by hiding it in a fabulous place, known only to myself. I am too good.

Now that they are in bed, I am going to get it; my mouth is eagerly anticipating the velvety smooth chocolateyness.

Wait a minute, where exactly did I put it?

Aarghhhh! I CAN'T REMEMBER!

Rubbish brain! Stupid brain-cell-killing pregnancies! They did it to me!

OK, don't panic... get the yellow pages... look up "Regression Hypnosis".

Mental note: Call first thing in the morning.

All is not lost.