Who Turned Off Halloween?

Saturday, November 01, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 1 Comment »
Did you get a memo from the Halloween Poobah saying Halloween is cancelled?
We left the house at around 7pm to go trick or treating. There was NOBODY around! People told us we were their first t.o.t ers! We walked down the street, turned the corner and emptiness! We checked our phones, ok, we got the date right. We checked the time, we're not too early. Shrug. Oh well.
We were quite prepared to be the only Countess Dracula (yes, it was a late name-change for C.), Rugby player with stripey socks and Nerd, oops I mean Scientist. The Ice Queen was at a party so she didn't come with us. Me? I went as a Tired Housewife...

The Ice Queen hates this pic (she didn't have all of her makeup on yet) so don't tell her I put it on here.

The geek/scientist... gorgeous!

Rugby man, "Take the picture already, I want to go!" Me- "Hang on, I haven't quite got the whole rubbish bin in the shot."

"Smile Countess!".... "No."

The kids were too scared to walk up to the house so HE came to US!

Posing with "It".
I thought this was an actual person on the roof ready to jump on us!

Some decorations were truly scary...!


So anyway, it took about 45 minutes for more Halloweeners to join us on the streets. Even then, there were less than half of the people we saw last year. It was a mystery..... until we drove past the Pumpkin Patch. There must have been HUNDREDS of cars overflowing the carparks. It was free night from 6 til 9. Can you imagine kids choosing to play on jumpies rather than go get candy? Our kids were like, "What's up with THAT?"
So then we found out that Great Oak High School had a game blah, blah, whatever... (can you tell I'm a diehard football fan?) so that's where the other half of the population was. Mystery solved. Halloween is intact. Too bad.

Here's the damage...

We decided to go with "The Bribe". One rule only - No Candy Purchases To Be Made With Bribe Money.

So, final tally, Ice Queen, 210 pieces = $10.50
The Countess, 151 pieces = $7.55
Rugby Man, 146 pieces = $7.30

I have to shell out $25.35 and I have bucket loads of sugar but I still feel like a WINNER!

Candy, anyone?

I know what Halloween is REALLY about!

Thursday, October 30, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
I was 36 years old when I first went trick or treating. I know! I'd been horribly deprived for 36 years! It's a wonder that I grew up mostly normal.
You see, nobody knocked on doors for free treats in New Zealand when I was a kid. We didn't even dress up. We didn't have those excessively orange, uber pumpkins on our doorsteps. We didn't have ghost or skeleton decorations. The only Halloween activities we witnessed were broadcast to us, from America, on the telly. If dad let us watch it. Instead of the Cricket.
It was useless trying to actually go out trick or treating. The only time my brother and I managed to get the courage to try it, we were chased off the property. And we couldn't even see who chasing us because we'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the sheet. It was pretty scary.
Now that I'm nearly grown up, I have children who enjoy trick or treating and the pumpkins and the ghosts, the costumes and the treats, the whole thing really. But I have grave (geddit?... grave!) reservations. Because I know that the blood soaked chainsaws and smoke machines are all just props and the real Halloween is about SUGAR. It is the sole intention and goal for all children to have tons of candy all day and all night. And the parents go along with it! But I want to put a stop to it!
Foolish, impossible wish...
Unless...
I have a GREAT idea. Go to every house that they could conceivably canvas and ask the nice people to only hand out Vegemite jars and kiwifruit to the a)Ice Queen with a sparkly blue face, b)Black Widow complete with spiderweb collar, c)rugby player with stripey socks. Yes!............ No! Logistical nightmare and the kids would get suspicious. ("Let's see what you got kids! Fifty seven jars of yeast extract each. Yay!")
OK, this is better... tell them we're going....to..........Disneyland! Yes! I am so clever! No! I am so stupid! I would actually have to take them TO Disneyland!
Alright...I've got it... I really have. I am going to BRIBE them! For every 5 pieces of candy they give me, I will pay them 25 cents. Then I will take them shopping and they can choose their favourite....um.... candy. Hmmm, that needs a little work...

I'm Not Ready for Halloween

Friday, October 10, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , Edit This 0 Comments »
So anyway, I took the kids to look at Halloween costumes (I'm trying to be better prepared this year and not make the 11th hour dash to Wal-Mart for black lipstick and vampire teeth).
M. wants to be a rugby player but I couldn't find the striped knee high socks. No problem, I found some on ebay. Private listing. For those who don't want anyone to know they like stripey socks. Shhhhh.
C. initially wanted to be a hobo but fell in love with a black widow costume, complete with spiderweb collar. (Maybe Wilbur suggested it?)
A. chose a blue wig....let me guess....Marge Simpson?

Overheard from a teenage boy whilst walking past the underwear department: "What is this?" (Pointing to a padded bra.) "They have built-in boobs?"


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