Bloggering Exile

Monday, January 12, 2009 Posted In , , , , , , , , Edit This 6 Comments »
I created this blog so my family could read about our slide into degradation on a regular basis. But, only two of my relatives have ever made the monumental effort to log on and take a look.

Most of my family is in New Zealand. If you were able to see my blog counter thingamajig, you would see that I get hits from all over the world. Even Zimbabwe came for a chat.

The Warsaw Pact visited last week. Sputnik came for a lookski and Big Ben popped over for a spot of tea with scones. Kangaroos took a gander by the billabong while Sauerkraut goosestepped over (don't mention the war) to wave hello. Kung Fu Panda handed me a fortune cookie, then Mater gave me some really good tractor tipping... uh... tips.

But I have not received ONE HIT from my relatives in New Zealand. Why? You might well ask. I'm starting to feel a tad ignored. No phone calls over Christmas and now this!

Overlooked.

Dumped.

Rejected.

I may have to put an ad in the paper: "Kiwi chick. Pure breed. Available for immediate adoption. Cute and cuddly. Comes when called. Likes children. Will do tricks for food."



Don't Mess With The Universe!

Thursday, November 13, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
We went to see Madagascar 2 because the kids JUST HAD to see it. I don't recommend it...
The slapstick is awful, the dialogue contrived and patronizing and there are more than a few tasteless references to the derrière. Not to mention that this is the ONLY theatre movie I have ever fallen asleep watching. Not worth it. Save your money. Although the children are still chanting the one song that appealed to them, ("I like 'em BIG, I like 'em CHUNKY!"), I suggest you see Kung Fu Panda instead.

I took my daughter to the hairdresser after the movie. She wanted to get a cut while I was getting a colour. She asked for her hair to be layered. Fifteen minutes later I looked over and saw carnage all over the floor! The stylist (aka Mrs Scissorhands) had given her a bowl head!
My own stylist was so horrified that she complained to the Manager on our behalf, gave C some highlights to 'feminize' the cut and sent us a free haircut voucher which is no compensation to an eleven year old who has to attend school all day looking like she is still wearing her bicycle helmet.

This is C before:



This is C after:



Thank goodness for the highlights!

The moral of the story is...
Never go to a movie sequel and get your hair cut on the same day! It messes with the cosmos and no amount of feng shui is gonna help you then.

Update: C went to school feeling very apprehensive, then FIVE people told her she looks like Rihanna! (you know... that R&B, pop-star girl from Barbados.) So here is what Rihanna looks like...



... and the only reason I don't yet have an 'after' pic of C here is because she refused to let the camera within fifty feet of her. Keep your eyes peeled tho' because I am wearing her down!

Here it is...



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