I'm talking about my laptop, AKA "Useless Good For Nothing Piece of Crap".
I am in the library utilizing a free yet uncomfortably public desktop, lamenting the loss of all of my vacation photos, my genealogy info (ten thousand relatives down the toilet) and my schedule for the next six months. Couples are marrying, babies are being showered, and Pack Meetings are being packed without my presence.
This is the equation for my existence right now...
MOI - LAPTOP = WRETCHEDNESS.
I need a miracle. And five quarts of cookie dough ice cream. Heck, gimme ten quarts.