What to Do?

Thursday, January 15, 2009 Posted In , , , , , , Edit This 7 Comments »

One thing I loathe to do is grocery shopping. I have strict dietary requirements. I prefer to eat real food as opposed to stuff masquerading as food. This means I have to stop and read all the ingredients to learn about each foods level of evilness.

As you can imagine, this takes hours and shortens tempers all around. Nobody likes to go shopping with me because I have to keep calling MM. "Can you google 'Potassium Bromate'?... uh huh... oh dear. Kids! Throw out the raisin bread, hamburger buns and bagels!"

After hours of this I make my way to the checkout with our groceries. Five organic bananas, a bottle of rice milk and twelve bars of chocolate.

I am very disenchanted with food in general, although you wouldn't know that to look at me. I like to eat but I don't like to be contaminated with all the toxic additives. (This does not include chocolate because we all know that the benefits outweigh the risk.)

So, I am looking for a way to eat healthy that doesn't involve joining a kibbutz, starting a commune, or swapping my Expedition for a horse and moving to Pennsylvania to become Amish. But then again, I do love Amish food...

I'm sure MM wouldn't mind growing a funny beard and changing his name to "Jacob Yoder", but the horse and buggy would play havoc with his sensitive bladder.

Oh, what the heck, I'll try anything once!

I better go practice my Amish... "Throw me down the stairs my shoes."

"Outen the light..."

Early to Church... A First Time for Everything

Monday, January 05, 2009 Posted In , , , , , , , Edit This 3 Comments »
Yesterday was the first Sunday of the New Year... and I was sooo excited, not because it was the first Sabbath of 2009, not because it was a lovely sunny day, not because I didn't have to drop kick the kids into the car.... it was because we now start church at 12.30pm! By jove, the church is TRUE!

(I know some people prefer early start church, but I am allergic to waking up early. I get hives and it's just horrible. People see me and scream, "What is that THING?" and it all turns into a bad taste B movie.)

But, we had a grand start... all the children were squeaky clean and in their uncreased, unstained, un cat-furred glory, ready to go EARLY! (I'm sure they won't make a habit of it.)

Even the small disaster of running out of nail polish remover with three red nails left didn't faze me. But I prepared an answer for those who might notice and be bold enough to ask me what in the blazes was I thinking, going to church like that?
"Scientists have discovered that glancing at three red, chipped and hideous fingernails stimulates a subconscious response to eat less." (Or, put you off your food completely.)
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