Mobile Desperation
Saturday, January 10, 2009 Posted In bedpan , car , embarrassment , freeway , restroom , work Edit This 9 Comments »
I am sure MM does not want me to blog about this but he has not yet realised something that the kids figured out months ago. That I will freely blog every humiliating event I hear about. I don't give warnings and I don't ask permission... that's what makes it fun.
MM can tell you exactly how many restrooms are closed between work and home during the hours of 5 and 7pm. He can tell you which restrooms have locks and no keys, which ones have surly non-English speaking attendants and which ones are perpetually occupied. He can also predict to a nano second when and where the traffic will slow to a stop, usually at the most torturous and uncomfortable time of bursting desperation.
As is often the case, I had the perfect solution for his daily predicament.
"I have one word for you honey, "Bedpan"."
I was feeling quite proud of myself for solving his problem instantly. I was not prepared for the "are you bonkers?" stare.
"Why are you looking at me like that? It's a perfect solution! Tailor-made for you. It obviously wouldn't work for me. You wait. This time tomorrow you will be WISHING you had a bedpan next to you in the car."
No comment.
Walking away.
"Well, if you get blood poisoning or whatever you get when your BLADDER EXPLODES, don't CALL ME!"
Some people just won't be helped.
MM can tell you exactly how many restrooms are closed between work and home during the hours of 5 and 7pm. He can tell you which restrooms have locks and no keys, which ones have surly non-English speaking attendants and which ones are perpetually occupied. He can also predict to a nano second when and where the traffic will slow to a stop, usually at the most torturous and uncomfortable time of bursting desperation.
As is often the case, I had the perfect solution for his daily predicament.
"I have one word for you honey, "Bedpan"."
I was feeling quite proud of myself for solving his problem instantly. I was not prepared for the "are you bonkers?" stare.
"Why are you looking at me like that? It's a perfect solution! Tailor-made for you. It obviously wouldn't work for me. You wait. This time tomorrow you will be WISHING you had a bedpan next to you in the car."
No comment.
Walking away.
"Well, if you get blood poisoning or whatever you get when your BLADDER EXPLODES, don't CALL ME!"
Some people just won't be helped.
