Think Of It as An Opportunity
Friday, January 30, 2009 Posted In Alaska , exfoliator , Mt. Redoubt , Oprah , particulates , volcanic ash Edit This 15 Comments »
I was just about to write an uproariously funny, sarcastic post about how much I hate "word verification", and how it is the bane of my blogging existence, but I saw the news announcement of the impending eruption of Mt. Redoubt in Alaska and all the indignation deflated, and now I'm just feeling bad for the Alaskans.
... then, turn this situation to your benefit. Just mix some of that ash with water, put it in a stylish container and voila!
Think of the millions you'll make...
They aren't going to experience devastation the likes of Pompeii, but they will have some very nasty ashfall. Don't laugh. Ash particulates are a serious health threat. All the asthmatics in Alaska are watching the news in horror right now.
So, this is my heartfelt message to the Alaskans. First, stampede the grocery store for bottled water. Then go home. Stay indoors. Eat your freeze-dried eggs benedict. Be prepared to duck and cover. Watch Oprah. She knows what to do. And above all, don't breathe.
After the danger is over, you can go outside and wipe the ash off your stuff...
... then, turn this situation to your benefit. Just mix some of that ash with water, put it in a stylish container and voila! 
Price it accordingly... $97 per jar. Don't be fooled into thinking nobody is dumb enough to ever buy this...
Think of the millions you'll make...
