Think Of It as An Opportunity

Friday, January 30, 2009 Posted In , , , , , Edit This 15 Comments »
I was just about to write an uproariously funny, sarcastic post about how much I hate "word verification", and how it is the bane of my blogging existence, but I saw the news announcement of the impending eruption of Mt. Redoubt in Alaska and all the indignation deflated, and now I'm just feeling bad for the Alaskans.

They aren't going to experience devastation the likes of Pompeii, but they will have some very nasty ashfall. Don't laugh. Ash particulates are a serious health threat. All the asthmatics in Alaska are watching the news in horror right now.

So, this is my heartfelt message to the Alaskans. First, stampede the grocery store for bottled water. Then go home. Stay indoors. Eat your freeze-dried eggs benedict. Be prepared to duck and cover. Watch Oprah. She knows what to do. And above all, don't breathe.

After the danger is over, you can go outside and wipe the ash off your stuff...

... then, turn this situation to your benefit. Just mix some of that ash with water, put it in a stylish container and voila!


Price it accordingly... $97 per jar. Don't be fooled into thinking nobody is dumb enough to ever buy this...


Think of the millions you'll make...


No More Oprah Books

Sunday, November 16, 2008 Posted In , , , , , , , , , , , Edit This 5 Comments »
I've been looking for a good book review blog and I can't find one that meets my criteria. Let me explain first... I like reading CLEAN i.e. non-profane, non-skin, non-horror, non-gore, non-prissy, non-depressing, non-Harlequin, non-drug addict, non-macabre, non-vampire, non-Stephenie Meyer books. But, I am finding that choosing a book is a gamble. It's impossible to know whether there are any of the 'nons' in there without reading it!
So, in the past, I've had to fork out the $$, take it home, read the first ten pages then throw it down in disgust, having encountered the first obscene word that I unfortunately did not uncover during my initial flick through at 'Barned and Nobbled'.

So, what now? Take it back to the shop and rant? "I cannot BELIEVE you sold me this... this... piece of RUBBISH! Have you LOOKED IN THERE? HAVE YOU? It's got RUDE WORDS in it! Didn't you CHECK IT before you put it on the shelf?"

I want to bypass all that aggro and just buy a good clean book. And don't tell me to get it from the library because I still have to go through the same process minus the throwing it on the floor, shouting at the staff part. And besides, if I like the book, I want to keep it.

If you come across a good book review blog that meets my criteria, let me know. If I get more than 1000 books in my Literature Collection, (currently at 350) MM may be frustrated enough with the swaying towers of books in our bedroom; to build me an extra room that I shall name "MY NON LIBRARY".




Gasp! Be still my heart!...
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