What Yanks Your Chain?
Sunday, February 08, 2009 Posted In Baby on Board , cellphone , flabby gut , kiwi accent , Lord's Prayer Cross , peeves Edit This 20 Comments »
You are very astute to notice I am home early from church. I couldn't handle the sinus headache anymore so I came home to pop some advil and achieve some druggy bliss. Coincidentally, I find that today is Feb 8 which just happens to be... you guessed it... PEEVES DAY! Yay! This is the day allocated to freely mock and criticize whatever I feel eminently mockable and... criticize-able.
1) Of course anything on "As Seen On TV" qualifies but this item takes top billing in my opinion. It's the shiny, sparkly "Lord's Prayer Cross."
But... this is not just any cheap crystal cross. This cheap crystal cross is special because it has the Lord's prayer engraved into the back of it. Hold it up to the light and it will be revealed! What? What do you mean you can't read it? It's right there!
2) Coming a close second is the "Baby on Board" sign. Once upon a time these signs were a good idea because they indicated to emergency crews at roadside accidents, that there was a baby they needed to account for. Bet you didn't know that. Nowadays, they are some kind of badge of pride or something.
So you're fertile! Great! Happy for ya.
Do these people put the sign in their vehicles because they assume we value their life less than that of their offspring? "Oh thank goodness they put the sign up! I was about to run right over that car! Whew!"
3) Being subjected to loud cell phone conversations at the checkout. It's not like I can walk away because I am stuck at the checkout! And seriously, I do NOT want to know what your test results are, what lengths you will go to to get your ex back (excuse me while I puke) or how your dog reacted to the thermometer. How can you say this stuff in front of strangers anyway? Here's a tip... GO AWAY! Wait til you are out of the store to call your peeps!
4) These online ads... Who said they could put a picture of my flabby gut ON THE INTERNET??!! I certainly don't remember giving my permission! Who do I sue?
5) Last but by no means the least... restaurant drive-thru speaker thingies. I hate them and will avoid speaking into them if I can.
Imagine you are me. Kiwi accent.
"Can I get two chicken sandwiches?"
"Huh?"
"Two. Chicken. Sandwiches."
"Seven beef tacos?"
Sigh. "NO. TWO. CHICKEN. SANDWICHES."
"Sorry?"
"Yes, I am!"
"What did you want?"
"FIVE BULLETS AND ONE LARGE GUN. AIM. AND. FIRE!"
"Huh?"
1) Of course anything on "As Seen On TV" qualifies but this item takes top billing in my opinion. It's the shiny, sparkly "Lord's Prayer Cross."
But... this is not just any cheap crystal cross. This cheap crystal cross is special because it has the Lord's prayer engraved into the back of it. Hold it up to the light and it will be revealed! What? What do you mean you can't read it? It's right there!
2) Coming a close second is the "Baby on Board" sign. Once upon a time these signs were a good idea because they indicated to emergency crews at roadside accidents, that there was a baby they needed to account for. Bet you didn't know that. Nowadays, they are some kind of badge of pride or something.
So you're fertile! Great! Happy for ya.
Do these people put the sign in their vehicles because they assume we value their life less than that of their offspring? "Oh thank goodness they put the sign up! I was about to run right over that car! Whew!"
3) Being subjected to loud cell phone conversations at the checkout. It's not like I can walk away because I am stuck at the checkout! And seriously, I do NOT want to know what your test results are, what lengths you will go to to get your ex back (excuse me while I puke) or how your dog reacted to the thermometer. How can you say this stuff in front of strangers anyway? Here's a tip... GO AWAY! Wait til you are out of the store to call your peeps!4) These online ads... Who said they could put a picture of my flabby gut ON THE INTERNET??!! I certainly don't remember giving my permission! Who do I sue?
5) Last but by no means the least... restaurant drive-thru speaker thingies. I hate them and will avoid speaking into them if I can.Imagine you are me. Kiwi accent.
"Can I get two chicken sandwiches?"
"Huh?"
"Two. Chicken. Sandwiches."
"Seven beef tacos?"
Sigh. "NO. TWO. CHICKEN. SANDWICHES."
"Sorry?"
"Yes, I am!"
"What did you want?"
"FIVE BULLETS AND ONE LARGE GUN. AIM. AND. FIRE!"
"Huh?"
20 brilliant observations:
So, I just finished writing up a post for another As Seen on TV post for tomorrow! Stay tuned!
And I clicked on that diet picture. It totally made me want to do it.
As you read from my blog, my pet peeve for the week is people talking during a movie at the theatre.
LOL! I totally agree on the drive through thingy! How hard can it be to hear us on there anyways, come on!!!
I actually can't stand that actual word...the one describing things you can't stand.
And I totally want that necklace! How do they get all the words on that tiny thing?
Wow, I am TOTALLY adding February 8 to my calendar as "Peeves Day". It can fill in the gap between January 3 ("Gripe Thursday") and March 27-May 31 ("Seventy-something Days of Whining")
My only peeve is when people have a sinus problem and snort and sniff their way through Relief Society instead of going home and blogging like it says in the bible. So, thanks, R Max. You're one righteous lady!
I LOVE that picture of the girl on the phone!!! She totally looks like she's talking about her test results. I hate men with tall hair at concerts.
I love all the extra work did to put your picture in with the chick on the phone. That was awesome!
I am peeved by the women in my ward who show up to church in their designer clothes and shoes and think that a zebra print jacket coordinates with a cheetah print purse. And can I mention that children should not have to suffer in designer or boutique clothing for three long hours? I think I need to move back to the ghetto.
The cell phone thing really gets me! I run a furniture store, and really get peeved when people come in taling on their phones and throw up their hands up in my face when I try to wait on them! THEN they get mad when they don't get waited on! Grrrrr
Totally agree with your list! I would add:
People that talk in the theater.
People that can't be bothered to change the roll of toilet paper.
People that cut you off on the freeway (or the parking lot, or at the supermarket, etc) and then look at you like it's your fault.
Ok my pet peeve today is all the drug company commercials that advertise on TV and before they're thru telling you all the side-affects and the many ways you may die from taking their drug, you forget what it's actually prescribed for! "This may cure asthma if it doesn't kill you first."
I will agree that those are all annoying. Very.
How about people who carry on complete conversations on their cell phones while in the stall at a public restroom?
It's not necessarily a pet peeve, but I wonder about their sanity.
Regarding the previous comment, I hate it when I'm talking to someone on the phone, and then I hear them flush the toilet!!! GAAAAHHHHH gross....it makes me feel dirty.
Excellent list and all very peeve-worthy. So glad there is a day devoted to pet peeves! Wish I had known earlier. Can that count as my pet peeve??
I just put my 3 pet peeves of the week on my blog, but will add them here, 1) Obama nominated Ogden for Deputy Attorney General, the guy who has spent years defending the porn industry, including child porn. 2) Obama dropped the charges of the master planner of the USS Cole bombing and 3) Al Gore! He just bugs no matter what!
Thats too bad about the Overheard in the Ward. Yes, I have found a lot of them not so funny. Sorry to hear your story.
I would definitely make your girls a skirt/s! You can email me @ kbkmsmom@yahoo.com & we can figure it out. :)
That gut photo is funny. The one on the left is a dude, the one on the right is a chick. Duh!
One time I was in the bathroom at Kohls, and someone was on the phone... IN THE STALL NEXT TO ME. Can you say, uncomfortable? I got a little performance anxiety.
i heard they were thinking about letting people talk on their cell phones on airplanes. that's going to suck a lot more than getting stuck to an idiot in the grocery line.
we'll have to take up sky diving.
You need to hear that old song called "Orange Crush" or something. It's a guy trying to order through the drive thru thingy, and he wants a burger and a large orange crush. Pretty hilarious. I can't remember who sings it, but if you find it, let me know because I'd love to hear it again!
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