The Mighty Woof
Thursday, March 19, 2009 Posted In 747 , woofer , X-Men Edit This 18 Comments »
We just got a new woofer. No, it's not a dog... my cat would never forgive me. It's a loudspeaker, one of those ones that delivers low frequency sounds. You know, the throbbing bass that vibrates the popcorn out of your cup when you're at the movies. THAT one. It came with a surround sound system so we now have 47 speakers strategically placed all over the room. Whenever we watch tv I keep thinking someone is breaking into the house. I swing around yelling, "Who's there?" only to realise it was just the movie, and the kids laugh at me... again.
I think I am losing my mind. Gone are my calm, quiet evenings. Now I can FEEL the movie no matter where I am in the house. When The Hulk drops a car, the shock wave launches the cat across the room. When Horton ran with The Whos, my pot plant thudded across the table and committed suicide off the edge.
Though I go to my bedroom, and close the sound-proofed door behind me, I can still hear such raging destruction that I frequently run down the stairs just to check that a 747 hasn't just crash-landed in the dining room. It's exhausting.
I was about to ask MM if we could please chop the woofer into small pieces and burn it when I read on the Internet that Doctors occasionally remove gallstones using ultrasound therapy. So naturally I thought, "Why pay hundreds of dollars for a sonogram when I can just sit on the woofer?" These stones don't stand a chance against the X-Men.
I think I am losing my mind. Gone are my calm, quiet evenings. Now I can FEEL the movie no matter where I am in the house. When The Hulk drops a car, the shock wave launches the cat across the room. When Horton ran with The Whos, my pot plant thudded across the table and committed suicide off the edge.
Though I go to my bedroom, and close the sound-proofed door behind me, I can still hear such raging destruction that I frequently run down the stairs just to check that a 747 hasn't just crash-landed in the dining room. It's exhausting.
I was about to ask MM if we could please chop the woofer into small pieces and burn it when I read on the Internet that Doctors occasionally remove gallstones using ultrasound therapy. So naturally I thought, "Why pay hundreds of dollars for a sonogram when I can just sit on the woofer?" These stones don't stand a chance against the X-Men.
