If you want free stuff, stop reading now and go there... go on! BUT WAIT!
Here's my final word, taken from a particularly profound piece of literature stuck to the bumper of a car...
"Wag more, bark less."
Doesn't that just say it all?
You probably don't care, but I will comment on your blog if you comment on mine. Unless your blog is utter rubbish...... then I'll have to think about it...
You may have noticed that I have been absent from the Great World of Bloggering. So, here's the thing... I've been in the throes of a personal health crisis.
You may remember that I asked an actual Doctor for help and she prescribed zantac for me. "You probably have indigestion" was her brain staggering conclusion. She apparently forgot the whole previous conversation about how I took zantac already and it not only didn't help but made me feel more nauseous. Then I found out later that she isn't a doctor at all but a DA whatever that is. Not a doctor, apparently.
I didn't tell this DA that by all indications, she was a quack. I just thought it. It shoved up close to the other thoughts I had about the whole Doctor Experience. Like... why do they have the reception desk so close to the waiting area? Not only do you have the humiliation of discussing your oh-so-private and possibly embarrassing ailment with the Reception Girl who is a complete stranger and worse, young enough to be your daughter's school friend... but you also have the entire population of the waiting room listening in. Then there's the woman who leans over to chat (there's always one) and asks "How long have you had that then? I've got terrible angina myself..."
A week later I asked to see a real Doctor. He sauntered in and chatted about how the weather was nice and cool. Let me re-enact the rest of that scene...
Dr Casual: Your blood tests are normal so I'm thinking it could be indigestion.
Moi: (Eye roll) Humph.
Dr Casual: No, really. It could be.
Dr Casual: Or... you could have gallstones. You're the right demographic. Female, forty and f...
Dr Casual: Yes.
Moi: Can you remove gallstones?
Dr Casual: No. But you can remove the gallbladder.
MM: Isn't there a way to dissolve or flush the stones?
Dr Casual: Surgical removal of the gallbladder is your only option. It's not the end of the world. Lots of people have the surgery with no problem. But, beware. The Internet is full of products that claim to remove stones but it's really not possible. So, don't worry about it. In the meantime, why don't we get you some zantac....
So he schedules me for an ultrasound and tells me not to worry. I went home disgusted. Then I got to work. My close companions for the last two weeks: terrible pain and the Internet. I googled the heck out of my symptoms. I read everything I could find about gallstones. It's a wonder my keyboard didn't scream and run away at the sight of me, I googled the guts out of my laptop all day for days.
Yes, I found a gallstone flush and YES I completed it and YES!, I am gallstone free and PAIN FREE! I can dance again! I can walk and run and jump and be HAPPY! And it's all because I DOUBTED the Doctors and DOUBTED the system. The system is broken. "Surgery is the only option." PHOOEY. So much for the Hippocratic Oath!
New rule of thumb for gallstone avoidance. Don't eat it if it ever had a heartbeat. Don't eat beans or nuts or eggs or grains or sugar. Don't eat it if it isn't organic or came out of a cow. So guess what's for dinner.... no really, guess... go on take a stab at it!
Because I have NO FLIPPIN' IDEA!
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